


Falling Rain and Fresh Pine

by chicbabyleo



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Historical, Beta Hongbin, M/M, Omega Hakyeon, also there is some physical and verbal abuse, but that was more common in history, kinda based on history, there is no condom, they weren't invented yet, trigger warning for mentions of non-con/rape, trigger warning for mentions of sexual abuse, trigger warning for victim blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-10 18:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18666130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicbabyleo/pseuds/chicbabyleo
Summary: Hakyeon has been told he has failed all his life. As much as he tries, he cannot be the omega everyone wishes him to be. Behaving improperly, crippled by fear, haunted by his past, falling in love with the wrong person. Once he is engaged to a noble alpha, it is clear he needs to change. Either on his own, or by force.His childhood friend who has always looked out for him can no longer protect him, no matter how much he assures him he will.However, fate always has its own plans.





	Falling Rain and Fresh Pine

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer/ Trigger Warnings: This is an ABO fic, but I think it is a little different than some ABO fics. I also can’t write an ABO with tackling the “hard topics” in the trope because those are my favorite fics in it. So I apologize
> 
> If you missed all the trigger warnings here they are again: victim blaming, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of non-con/rape, abuse in general. If I have forgotten any, I am sorry. So proceed with caution.
> 
> Also special thanks to the fic fest mods who are forever the best. I love you all!

 

[하나]

 

Hakyeon remains in back, behind a bush, attempting to be invisible while watching his mother. She is running around, barking orders at anyone who is in her way, telling them to get to work. As much as he needs to help (for himself and her), he knows what will happen the second he makes himself seen again. She will give him the same lecture for the ninth time that week.

He takes a step back, wishing he had somewhere safe to go. But he didn’t.

“And will someone grab Hakyeon! Get his ass over here.”

Jumping at the sound of his name. Time is up. He can’t hide any longer.

Sucking in a breath, he makes his way around the foliage, tucking his hands inside of the sleeves of his tunic, careful to make it look like he walks off the path and not out from behind the bushes.

“I am here, mother,” he says and bows a little.

His mother, a short little woman with a lips permanently pursed and eyebrows lowered, thrusts a stack of platters into Hakyeon’s unprepared hands. They clatter as he takes them, and he ducks his head, averting his eyes as his mother scrutinizes him, looking him up and down.

 

Then she clicks her tongue in disapproval. Hakyeon keeps his eyes fixed on the platters until she leaves. Finding the next poor soul to yell at.

There is one big circular table sitting in the middle of the grass. Twenty seats. Twenty plates.

Hakyeon carefully spaces out the platters on the table as the surrounding people hang paper lanterns onto the trees, each flickering brightly, the flames waiting for the sun to set so they can shine even brighter. He glances at the two seats which are decorated loosely with hemp. Bold black characters written on it. Although Hakyeon can’t read it, he knows what it says: “Thank you.”

 

He swallows thickly. It seems surreal. After two years, Hakyeon is finally going to see his best friend again. How has he changed? _Did_ he change? Would he be as happy as Hakyeon is to see him?

Lost in of his thoughts, he doesn’t see his mother come by him again until she grabs the back of his tunic and pulls him off to the side.

 

“You are not allowed to speak to him,” she hisses quietly. “Do you _understand_?” Her eyes squint even more as she searches her son’s face. It is as if she doesn’t think he understands Korean. “You are lucky we even let you be here. If anything happens, I swear I will burn all your--”

 

“Mother, I understand--”

 

Hakyeon starts but is cut off by a sharp slap across his cheek.

 

“Do not speak out of turn and for the love of all that is holy _know your damn place_!” The last four words their own sentence. Quiet threats and intimidation. His cheek is still stinging, eyes still watering slightly, but he bows his head.

 

“I-I understand, Mother,” he whispers.

 

“Fucking omega. . .” She mutters as she walks away. Hakyeon flinches when he hears what she says. His own identity as if it is an insult.

 

He casts a sidelong glance at the chairs again. If Hakyeon only cared about himself, he wouldn’t listen to his mother.

 

But he doesn’t care as much for himself.

 

There is a reason his best friend was sent away.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


The sun finally sets, and the feast is surrounded by glowing golden globes, the biggest acting as a centerpiece. The table is filled with a steaming hot feast: a large seasoned duck, slabs of pork, overflowing bowls of broth with hand-pulled noodles, soybeans, cucumbers, piles of rice, and one bowl of fruit for refreshment. Hakyeon is standing by the table, carefully pouring tea into the ceramic cups, lips pressing into a firm line of concentration when his father returns.

“Family and friends: our dutiful brothers have returned. Let us feast and celebrate their. . .”

Even before his father even speaks, Hakyeon picks up the familiar scent of crisp apples and stinging cinnamon added to the mixture of the many scents around him. A scent he has missed for two years, but not as much as the fainter pine he can’t smell right now. The alpha’s always overpowers the beta’s, but if the alpha is here, so is the beta.

Hakyeon’s eyes flicker up and he spots Chansik first, standing next to his father. The alpha’s hands are clasped in front of his body, a small smile on his face.

Hongbin is standing on Chansik’s other side, and Hakyeon’s breath catches from the sight of him. His head is dipped slightly, a shyer, more uncomfortable smile stretched across his lips. Both of the men are wearing simple dark blue tops with tan trousers, a black sash tied around their waists. Hongbin’s hair is tied back into his lazy bun, a couple of the strands resting on his cheeks.

 

He is so familiar, yet so different. Hardened. Defined. A sharpened version of himself.

 

The beta looks up and their eyes lock.

 

One side of Hongbin’s lips tilt up into a crooked smile, dimple appearing.

 

Tea splashes out of the cup, landing on Hakyeon’s thigh and the table. Hakyeon gasps loudly, almost dropping the teapot on the ground. Some tea splashes off the table and through the thin material on his slippers. He jumps and the ceramic cup finally falls onto the floor and shatters.

 

Hakyeon’s father is glowering at him, and he knows it, but he refuses to look up to see the hatred radiating off him. Knows what it means, what is coming for him. Tenfold.

 

Hakyeon drops down to his knees and bows his head apologetically, very aware of everyone watching his every move. Judging him. Hating him. His hands tremble as he scoops up the broken pieces into his hands.

 

His father doesn’t continue right away, and when he does his jaw is more tense.

 

Hakyeon takes care of his mess. Careful to not cut his hands, wiping up the table as rapidly as possible. His cheeks are burning, and he refuses to acknowledge anyone’s presence. As an omega, he is aware of his place. Work quickly, efficiently, and not be seen.

 

He failed all three already.

 

The greeting speech is finished, and both boys move through the crowd. Everyone greets them and welcomes them home. Or at least, everyone that matters. Hongbin’s sister hugs her younger brother, while Chansik’s girlfriend greets him with a small peck. The rest make their way to them, including Hakyeon’s mother. He has no doubt that she is already apologizing about him. To the both of them.

 

Eventually everyone settles at the table for the feast. Being the alpha in charge, Hakyeon’s father is the first to take food, followed by the two who returned home. After they do, everyone follows suit. Under his mother’s ever watchful eye, Hakyeon only takes a little like he was ordered. She made it very clear it isn’t his food to eat and, besides, he has to watch his weight.

 

He will sneak some later.

 

Hakyeon chews on what little duck he is allowed, partially listening to the questions and the answers Chansik and Hongbin take turns giving. Both are smiling, playing the crowd well, giving the answers they would like and want to hear. Wanting to pout and sulk, Hakyeon attempts to hide it. Ignoring if anyone is giving any care to pay attention to him, he watches Hongbin smile brightly, his dimples appearing once more. Hakyeon watches his fingers peel back an orange and he can’t help but feel jealous. He wants to hug him. He wants to hold him so close he can smell the sharp, subtle scent of pine he missed for two long years. He wants to hear his stories. Alone. In private.

 

He just wants to be near him.

 

As Chansik takes over the story, Hongbin’s eyes lock once more on Hakyeon’s. Instead of glancing away like he knows he should, he holds it. Hongbin’s lips loosen a little, a smaller smile replacing his old one. An apologetic one.

 

It lasts only a second, then he shoves a section of the orange in his mouth and turns his attention back to Chansik, adding a detail that he missed from the story.

 

And Hakyeon is back to pouting internally.

.

 

❀ ❀ ❀

  


When the feast ends, Hakyeon’s father takes all the alpha and beta males to drink. Some leave, and Hakyeon and his mother, along with a handful of people, clean up the area. Thankfully, his mother is too busy to corner him, but Hakyeon knows it won’t last long. He grabs some plates from the table when Hongbin’s sister walks up to him.

 

“You look good, Hakyeon,” she says quietly, and she flashes him a smile that looks too much like her younger brother’s. “I’m glad you seem to be doing well.”

 

Hakyeon’s cheeks tint slightly as he bows his head a little. Despite being close to Hongbin, it has been years since he has spoken to either of his older sisters. The first lives too far away to even attend the event. Eunbyul, on the other hand, lives closer, but not close enough to be seen regularly. After Hongbin’s father passed away suddenly, Hakyeon’s family took the two sisters and Hongbin in. Yet, growing up with them feels so long ago to Hakyeon he can’t help but feel a little awkward.

 

“Thank you, noona,” he whispers.

 

“He is excited to see you. I know you will get to talk to him soon. It will be okay.”

 

She moves away, leaving Hakyeon standing there, his heart pounding a little faster. Did Hongbin tell her that in the little time he talked with her? Or does she just know?

 

It doesn’t take much longer to finish cleaning up. After a short, but very angry exchange with his mother, Hakyeon walks home. He is greeted by his little white kitten, and he takes time to squat down and scratch her back and ears. She purrs and Hakyeon picks her up and holds her close.

 

“Can we trade lives for a day, Mandu?” He asks her quietly. She rubs her face against his mouth, making him smile as he listens to her purr. It doesn’t sound like a protest. “You don’t have a pissed off mother to live with,” he grumbles against her, and accidentally gets fur in his mouth and he sputters a little.

 

He eases Mandu back down onto the ground and goes to the garden at the center of the villa. Finding his usual spot, he sits down, closing his eyes, inhaling the scent of the flowers surrounding him. He unties his ponytail, letting his long, silky, black hair fall to rest against his back and cheeks.  Letting out a long exhale, he allows himself to relax. Free of people. Free of judgement.

 

He sits there quietly. For how long, he doesn't know. Undisturbed until he hears a soft meow. He opens his eyes and finds Mandu sitting at the entrance of the garden. Her fluffy tail swaying as she stares at him with bright blue eyes. A couple seconds later, Hongbin jogs up, standing behind Mandu. Hakyeon goes to push himself up, when Hongbin speaks.

  
"No. Don't move."

  
Hakyeon sits back down and Mandu bounces over to the omega, jumping happily into his lap. Hongbin follows, much slower, and settles down beside Hakyeon.

  
"She led me to you," Hongbin explains, then sighs heavily. "I took too long. Forgive me, hyung.”  


Hakyeon scratches the kitten behind the ears as he drinks in the sight of Hongbin before him. The beta is frowning, some of his bun disheveled, his brow carrying more lines of stress and worry than it should. Alcohol from the rice wine mixing with his faint pine smell, almost masking Hakyeon’s favorite scent.

.

“You know you aren’t supposed to call me that,” Hakyeon grumbles.

 

“You are my hyung. Nothing is going to change that.”

 

“I’m an omega.”

 

“What’s your point?”

 

What _is_ his point?

 

His point should be it has been two years since they took his best friend from him. Since they punished him. No, them. Both of them. Punished. Why does he choose to focus on this unimportant title?

 

Lips pursing, Hakyeon answers, shy. “I missed you..”

 

Before Hongbin can reply, Hakyeon throws his arms around Hongbin, making Mandu jump from his lap. All formality is gone when it is just the two of them. Holding him tightly, Hakyeon nuzzles into the side of his neck, his nose pressed up to Hongbin’s scent gland, tears collecting in his eyes. His best friend, his protector, his savior: here again. And he never wants to let him go again.

 

Hongbin doesn't react right away, but then his arms rest around Hakyeon as he eases into him. "I missed you too, hyung."

  
This time, Hakyeon doesn't correct him.

  
Nuzzling more against him, Hakyeon bumps Hongbin's scent gland with his nose, probing at it with his tongue, craving to envelope him in his scent. An old instinct: wishing to scent him and cover himself in his friend’s smell. Something typically only done between omega and alpha mates.

  
But Hongbin pushes Hakyeon away. Hakyeon adverts his gaze when he realizes what he was trying to do..

  
"Sorry.." He whispers.

  
"Are you hurt?"  


"H-Huh?"  


"The tea. When you spilled it."  


"O-Oh.." Hakyeon flushes, wondering how he could have forgotten. Perhaps because he didn't have to face his father yet. "No. I'm fine."  


With little regard to his response, Hongbin reaches to Hakyeon's tunic, his gentle fingers reaching where both sides meet. Hakyeon's hand locks around Hongbin's wrist. Knuckles white.  


"It's okay..I only wish to see it."  


Hakyeon doesn't remove his hand, though.  


"I-I'll do it. Please," Hakyeon chokes out.  


Nodding, Hongbin curls his fingers away, and Hakyeon releases the breath he didn't notice he was holding.  


Tentatively, Hakyeon moves the fabric away to expose his thigh, a blush creeping back into his cheeks from the intimate motion. A swollen, bright red burn about the size of his palm is revealed. Hongbin scowls.  


"Give me one second," Hongbin says and gets up, leaving Hakyeon alone as he walks deeper into the garden. He doesn't take long, and when he comes back, he kneels in front of Hakyeon,. The black sash from his own tunic in his hands, dripping.

  
"This is going to be cold," he warns, and before Hakyeon can respond he lays the sash along the burn. Hakyeon tenses, but then exhales as the chill soothes his angry skin. He closes his eyes, thankful to have some relief. He wishes he could have some for his feet, but he doesn't want to point it out to Hongbin.  


Hongbin lifts Hakyeon's leg up carefully, wrapping his sash completely around his thigh, then ties it around loosely.  


"Thank you.."  


"It was my fault. I should at least fix it."  


Hakyeon glances at Hongbin, wanting to argue, but not wanting to spend the time they have alone together arguing.  


"Are you okay?" Hongbin asks.  


"I am now, thank you-"  


"That's not what I meant."  


Hakyeon jumps a little from the change in his voice. Hongbin is still kneeling in front of him, now leaning forward, his focus all on Hakyeon.  


"These last two years. Have you been okay?"  


Keeping his head lowered, Hakyeon refuses to look at Hongbin. He plays with the part of his damp sash the other tied off. His fingers slide over the fabric. It is made from some type of material that is much softer than his own. He doesn't even know the name of it. That should be indicator enough that he will never be able to wear anything so nice until he is mated.  


In marriage.  


He swallows the lump in his throat.  


"A matchmaker chose me," he forces out. It goes quiet for a second, but Hakyeon is just content he doesn't have to figure out an answer to the other question.  


"You're engaged?" Hongbin asks a he figures out what he means.  


"I am."  


"To whom?"  


"Taecyeon."  


Hongbin hands twitch. Just barely, but enough for Hakyeon to see. Enough to imagine the fist he was going to make.  


Hakyeon rakes his fingers through his hair. All of his attention stays focused on Hongbin's hands, refusing to look at him, although he wishes to know what he is thinking. He knows it isn't good. He doesn't expect it to be.  


Hongbin's fingers claw at his trousers. Then he sighs.  


"I'm sorry.." There is a slight pause. Hongbin picks an azalea from a plant nearby, spinning the flower in front of him. "I can't do much. But.." He pushes the flower into Hakyeon's hair, startling him, making him look fully at Hongbin again. Hakyeon's caresses the flower's petals with his fingers. Hongbin finishes his sentence with a grin, his dimples appearing momentarily once more, "I will try my best to protect you."  


A heartfelt promise, but an impossible one.  


Eyes downcast, Hakyeon manages a small smile.  


"Would you like to go out to the market tomorrow? Like we used to?"

 _Like we did before I was sent away? Like we did before you feared leaving?_ What he doesn’t say, echoing in Hakyeon’s mind. Knowing what Hongbin truly means, what he won’t say. _  
  
_

Hakyeon plays with a petal between his own fingers. "I would like that."

  
  


[둘]

  
  


Before he presented his second gender, Hakyeon was allowed to wear harder shoes. But after it showed that he was an omega, they took all his nice shoes and gave him thin, soft slippers. Delicate and pretty. Slightly harder bottom, but not enough to properly protect his foot. Each time he walks with Hongbin, he misses the same thing: hard shoes. Hongbin has learned to slow down for him, but it doesn't stop Hakyeon for wishing he could have his old pairs back.

What's more is how hard it would be to escape an alpha in the pretty, lacey slippers.

Sun is shining brightly without a cloud in the sky, they walk side-by-side on their familiar path to the market. Hongbin's bun is back, tied tightly on his head, and his clothes are more of his familiar tan color. His trousers fall just over his knee, and his coat is tucked tightly back under a sash of matching color. Hakyeon is wearing a long black robe with gray bottoms that reach his black slippers, the same ones he wishes he could burn. A loose scarf hangs around his neck, more for marking than fashion. A display of an engaged omega. It is a simple part of tradition. When an omega is engaged, male or female, they wear it when they go out in public. It is a gift from the betrothed. Only omegas who are engaged to someone of higher power have their scarves coated in a scent which wards off other potential mates. It is supposed to cover their own scent and protect them.

But it is more symbolic than practical. A mere sheet of fabric isn't enough to shield an omega from a rutting alpha. Instead it is a warning: when you mate with this omega, there will be consequences to pay. The alpha is obviously punished. But so are most of the omegas who fall victim to the crime.

Hakyeon slows as they reach their secret spot in the road, gazing into the trees. Hongbin eases beside him as they finally come to a halt.

"Would you like me to?"

Hakyeon fiddles with the sash tied across his thin waist. "Please.."

They both move deep into the trees without saying a word, their legs guiding them from memory. When they are far enough away, Hakyeon stops and faces Hongbin. The latter caresses Hakyeon's cheek. Hakyeon closes his eyes, his heart pounding a little. It is familiar, yet it is not. It has been two years. He has forgotten what it felt like.

Hakyeon leans into Hongbin's hand, tilting his head to expose his neck and collarbone. Hongbin leans in, his breath ghosting on Hakyeon’s skin, making him shiver. His lips press down, and his tongue probes to find the scent gland. When he finds it, he massages it, and Hakyeon closes his eyes, telling himself to relax. It is a weird, intimate feeling he can never get used to. He breathes through his nose, but it gets worse when Hongbin engulfs as much of the gland he can in his mouth and sucks in pulses. Hakyeon’s cheeks flush. Sweet orange with a subtle sting of ginger waft up and linger in a heavy, pleasant suffocating way. Hakyeon gasps for air, and wonders how much of it Hongbin can smell. What is overwhelming for Hakyeon, may be very faint to Hongbin who has a weaker sense as a beta.

Hongbin finally pulls away, catching his own breath. Cheeks still flushed, Hakyeon pulls away slightly, very aware of his scent settling onto Hongbin’s clothes. Hakyeon barely has any scent remaining on him. All of it migrated onto Hongbin.

 

Intimate. That’s all he can think. It is something that should be done with married couples. Maybe even engaged ones, but not between best friends, even if it is simply for precaution.

 

Hakyeon wraps his scented scarf tighter around himself. “Thank you. . .”

Hongbin doesn’t reply and they walk back out to the road. It is freeing, to be scentless. But not as freeing as it could be. If only he could hide his omega body. Would he then be safe?

The market isn’t too crowded, yet it is still bustling. Hakyeon stays close to Hongbin, wanting to link their arms, but aware how much that would make him feel like a lost child, not to mention what others would say or think if they were seen. He is still close enough that their sleeves brush against each other’s, and he settles for that. Eyes glued on his slippered feet, shuffling through the rocky path, Hakyeon refuses to look up. See everyone watching him: the male omega. The male omega who messed up.

 

His fingers fiddle with his scarf, brushing the silky cloth over his fingers.

 

He shouldn’t be here.

“Hey? You okay?” Hongbin whispers, his hand resting gently on Hakyeon’s forearm. Hakyeon continues to slide the scarf through his fingers and nods quickly and quietly. Hongbin doesn’t press further as they continue to walk. Hakyeon remains on his heel, a step behind but right with him. Just like a dog. Just like how most see him.

Hongbin wanted to get a gift for Hakyeon’s mother and his own sister. And that’s what he is doing. He takes his time, talking with the sellers, trying to find something appropriate each of them would like. Hakyeon keeps the scarf pressed up to his nose, losing interest quickly on the discussion of prices. Somewhat hidden behind the scarf, he allows his eyes to wander a bit, and he notices a group of women chirping their gossip together like three little birds. They steal glances at Hongbin, and then one catches Hakyeon’s curious gaze and the omega looks away.

 

But he knows they are still talking. About him. What he did. What Hongbin did.

“It’s a shame. He had a promising future too.”

He hears it from his other side and he doesn’t dare to look up this time. A man attempting to whisper, but he isn’t any good at it.

 

Maybe it is on purpose.

“What really is a shame is not quelling an omega’s heat. I hear nothing else compares to it.”

“His future couldn’t have been that promising then. What a stupid bastard.”

Hakyeon clenches the scarf. Why did he hope it would only be the three women?

 

Hongbin remains oblivious, as he bargains for some incense. The seller spares Hakyeon a quick glance and instantly his eyes focus back on his feet.

“Should have killed him. . .”

Hakyeon hears them continue. He wills himself to stop listening, to tune them out, closing his eyes.

“. . .which one?. . .”

Quiet laughter.

“. . .before he is mated. I volunteer to. . .”

He squeezes his eyes tighter, pressing the scarf firmly to his mouth and nose.

 

_Go away, go away, go away--_

“. . .maybe we will get lucky and he will. . .”

“. . .each have a--”

“Hakyeon.”

. . . _Hongbin?_

“Hakyeon!” A frustrated grunt. ”Come on..”

Hongbin guides Hakyeon away from the main street and pulls him to a corner on a side street. Hakyeon is hyperventilating, his body trembling. In the midst of everything, Hakyeon tore the scarf a little. His eyes continue to water and he can’t make them stop. Hongbin wraps his own hands around Hakyeon’s, making Hakyeon look up at him.

“I-I-I can’t--” Hakyeon chokes out. He presses his lips together, fighting back a sob.

“You’re okay. You’re safe.”

“I can’t! Hongbin, I-I _can’t_ \--”

Hongbin grips his hands tighter and remains unmoving. “Hakyeon. You are here. I’m here. You’re safe. You don’t have to do anything.”

Hakyeon isn’t sure how long they stand like that. How many minutes he fights the battle to break down crying or to will himself to stop. His cheeks are still moist, but his breathing eventually slows. Ease finally comes back to him.

 

Hongbin guides Hakyeon to a nearby vender. It is secluded. They rest down on a bench. Hakyeon closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing, aware of how Hongbin’s hand rests on his back. An _ahjumma_ greets them, and Hongbin orders tea and cookies. She leaves them without making a comment about the broken omega by her customer’s side.

Hakyeon fingers clench and unclench around the scarf in erratic patterns. He can feel his breathing starting to quicken again, the tears threatening to escape once more.

“Hey. _Hey_. Here. Take this.”

The newly formed tears blur the steaming cup of tea Hongbin holds out in one hand for Hakyeon, his other carefully pulling the scarf away from Hakyeon’s hands, tossing it aside and wrapping Hakyeon’s longer fingers around the cup with his own. Hongbin then guides the cup underneath his nose.

“Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. It will help.”

Hakyeon listens, inhaling the barley, then exhaling. The tea is so close to his face that his nose almost touches the liquid. It is familiar. The many days they came together, hung out, even before they both presented. And then after, when Hongbin really should have ditched him. An omega Hongbin accepted, regardless of his primary and secondary gender.

 

The _ahjumma_ passes Hongbin the cookies, and the other pays. Hakyeon’s heart and breathing calm down significantly, but he keeps the tea held up to his face, still allowing the smell alone to relax him as he remembers a much simpler time of boyish play and pranks.

 

A time he ruined.

 

“I’m sorry. . .” Hakyeon says, his words getting lost in the cup.

Hongbin twirls the _yakgwa_ cookie before taking a bite. He chews, not acknowledging Hakyeon at first, and the other thinks that maybe he didn’t hear him, but Hongbin finally says, “No, I’m sorry. I should have considered how hard it might be for you.” Hongbin takes another bite as Hakyeon lowers the tea finally, staring at the brown liquid sloshing around as it is moved. The second he does he regrets it, the wave of comfort that enveloped him now disrupted.

“Have you gone out since I left?”

Hakyeon shakes his head. He tenses, preparing for Hongbin to be upset, to say he should have at least warned him, to abandon this whole outing and go right back home.

Hongbin’s nail picks at the cookie as he stares down at it, his lips purse. He doesn’t do any of that.

“I didn’t realize. Forgive me.”

“F-Forgive you?” Hakyeon blanches. “You should forgive me. I already caused a scene and you shouldn’t be--”

Resting his hand on Hakyeon’s forearm, Hongbin turns to face him. “No, hyung, no." Hakyeon is about to correct him about the title again, but Hongbin doesn't let him. "I should have considered it. No one else would have taken you out. If you ever even wanted to go out while I was gone. I won't forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. The one in the wrong is me. I should have been more considerate."

"Hongbin-"

" _Have_ you been okay?" 

Hongbin's soft chestnut eyes lock on Hakyeon's so suddenly that the latter moves immediately to focus back on his tea. Tapping the cup, Hakyeon knows he can't avoid the question forever, but he’s unsure how much Hongbin should know. As kind as Hongbin's eyes are, they are still intense. Boring into him, expecting an answer.

"I'm. . .I'm scared. . ." Vague, yet so simple it could summarize his whole life ever since that crucial day. Ever since they ripped Hongbin away from him.

A short silence falls between them. A bird sings loudly behind them, and the _ahjumma_ talks loudly with another customer, her voice echoing. 

"Of what?" Hongbin asks beneath all the noise, his hand tightening around Hakyeon's arm before releasing again.

"E-Everything. . ." Hakyeon chokes out his reply, his tears ready to escape again. "A-And now I'm betrothed to T-Taecyeon and I'm going to be on my own and far away a-and you know the rumors what if they're true what if h-he is a _monster_ what if he is like they say his f-father is and what if they try t-to--" 

The cup shatters on the floor suddenly, Hakyeon's hands shaking uncontrollably. Quick to react, Hongbin pulls Hakyeon close to him, arms wrapping around him, guiding Hakyeon's nose to his scent gland. Hakyeon cries, his whole body trembling, as he breathes in the fresh pine scent.

"I'll pay for it. _Okay_ ?" 

Hongbin's terse voice sounds far away although he is right there. Tear streaks line his cheeks as he continues to inhale the scent. One of Hongbin’s hands rests on the back of Hakyeon’s head, holding him. Firm and protective. He strokes Hakyeon’s hair, his fingers moving slow through the fine strands tied back by the ponytail.

They stay like that. Hakyeon doesn't know how long, but eventually the beta's scent soothes him, as does the warmth of his friend’s body. Hakyeon's body stops shaking again. The tears stop flowing again.  


"You're strong, hyung. You're the strongest person I know," Hongbin whispers, his breath ghosting on Hakyeon's ear.  


He is wrong, but Hakyeon doesn't have the heart to tell him.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


Hongbin is quick about leaving. Hakyeon adverts his gaze, his heart racing a little as he hears the _ahjumma_ attempt to lecture Hongbin.But Hongbin doesn't really listen, thrusting his paper money towards her and she eventually takes it.  


"Come on.." Hongbin says, mostly to himself, as his hand latches like a vice grip onto Hakyeon's forearm. A small gasp from pain escapes his lips, and he is thankful it is quiet enough that Hongbin doesn't hear.  


The journey back home is mostly a silent one. Hongbin is usually pretty quiet, but he is especially quiet after the encounter. Intense anger radiates off him. As helpless as Hakyeon is, he naturally wishes to help distract him from it. So he tries. He tells Hongbin of how he found Mandu in the gardens one night. She was abandoned and frightened, but Hakyeon eventually coaxed her out. Within minutes she was purring. He protected her, fed her, kept her. He smiles as he says the only reason he is allowed to keep her because it is good practice for him as an omega father. Even when his mother was going to say no, his father stepped in and told her to let him keep her and that was final. It surprised him to have his father speak up in support for him, and it still surprises him every time he remembers.  


Hongbin doesn't say anything as Hakyeon tells the story, nor does he say something at the end. But Hakyeon continues to talk about Mandu, swinging the ends of the scarf as he walks. Somehow the sound of his own voice calms Hakyeon, and he hopes it can do the same for Hongbin.  


With the villa in sight, Hongbin stops and speaks for the first time. "Go on to your room. I will distract them."  


Hakyeon is ready to reply but Hongbin resumes walking, not waiting for any acknowledgment. Hakyeon stands there as he watches his friend walk away. A blanket of shame envelopes him. He broke the cup and Hongbin hasn't been the same since. It's his fault. He's to blame. He ruined their outing.  


And they will never have another again.  


Slowly, Hakyeon makes his way to his room. He hears echoes of his mother receiving Hongbin's gift. The welcoming happiness.  


Hakyeon tosses the scarf away into a corner and collapses onto his bed mat. He stays there, fighting the tears once again. Mandu walks up on his chest and tentatively licks his nose with her rough tongue.  


His mother's laughter rings loudly throughout the building and that's when his fight ceases.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


Sometime after Mandu kneading his chest all-while crying, Hakyeon falls asleep. Hours later his mother calls him to dinner. He feigns an illness, and he suspects she can see right through his act. But she glares and leaves him be for once.  


It isn't much of a lie, though. Remembering what happened between Hongbin and him is enough to send his stomach swirling.  


With everyone occupied, he decides to get his bath over with. Not that he has any problem bathing, it is the fact that he _has_ to bathe to meet the alpha tomorrow. Smell nice. Look nice. And don't fucking screw up the first impression.  


The villa's bath house is in a separate building from where Hakyeon's room is. It isn't large, but it is a decent size for the lower noble class his family is.  


Hakyeon walks in and shuts the door with the lock. The lock that was added after he presented his second gender. It isn't the strongest, and it is probably mostly symbolic, but it does comfort Hakyeon. There are no alphas living close around that would try anyway.  


Everything is already prepared for it. The usual maintenance supplies of plantal soap and ash, along with the scrapper and bean scrubs. Jars of oils line the bath itself for preparation and scenting to compliment his own scent. To give his hair and skin an irresistible sheen to strike or to kiss.  


The acid turns again in his hollow stomach.  


Hakyeon shucks his tunic off, thankful to be rid of it. It still holds the faint musk of the scarf he wore earlier, something he also became sick of quickly. Even if it is meant to repel alphas away, he did notice Hongbin's slight wrinkle of the nose, or the turn of his cheek whenever he came too close. As if Hongbin didn't have enough reasons to stay clear of Hakyeon.  


He yanks his hair out his ponytail and combs a couple of the knots out carefully with his fingers. His hair falls down to the middle of his shoulder blades and it wraps around his back like a thick black curtain. Yet another thing they will have to prettify on him.

Settling down into the bath, he releases a soft groan. It is tepid, and that’s all he can ask for. They don’t live close enough to the hot springs for it to be so refreshing, but at least it is warmer. He doesn’t know if he could handle the colder waters the poorer have, and he knows that is a privilege from his status. And when he finally marries he will live where there is a hot spring, however he doubts he will be allowed to bathe alone again.

Using a basin, he dumps the water over his head. He does it again and wipes the water from his face.

When it comes to ranking, Hakyeon’s family is the most influential in their town. They don’t have a lot of money or power as other nobles, but they have plenty more than everyone else around them. Including Hongbin and his sisters. When his parents passed, they almost became orphans. Their fortune was given to Hongbin’s uncle, his father’s brother, because none of the children were old enough; who rises in charge of the household is not determined until the secondary gender presents itself. A male is worth more than a female in every sense, but an alpha is always the one given everything, then a beta. Omegas are not given much for they are to be married away, anyway.

 

His first sister presented as an omega, so she was married off. Then Hongbin’s second sister presented as a beta, and she was entitled for her family’s fortune, however they decided to wait for what Hongbin would be because there was a sixty-six percent change he was going to be of higher status than his sister. And he was. But by the time it was discovered he was a beta, his father’s fortune was “misplaced” from his uncle’s gambling.

 

Hakyeon’s family already took “custody” of Hongbin’s family. Hongbin’s father and Hakyeon’s father were closer, and closer than the former was to any of his family. Despite Hakyeon being closer in age to Hongbin’s sister, Hakyeon grew up with Hongbin. He watched him grow up, just like his parents did, but in a closer, more personal way.

 

His friend currently has nothing.

 

And Hakyeon is about to have everything a normal omega would probably want. Money. Hot spring. A rich alpha.

 

But a huge social gap from him and his best friend.

Hakyeon cleans himself with the plant ash and uses the scraper along his body until his skin turns red. Along his arms, chest, legs, until all of his skin is warm and pulsing. Only then is he sure he is rid of all the dirt and any lingering traces of that sickening scent. He doesn’t know how Hongbin put up with it. Even if Hongbin can only smell traces of it. But to stand close to him, to hug him, to comfort him.

 

Maybe it is why he didn’t talk to him. He got sick of it, sick of _him_. Realizing it is a mistake to hang out with him, to be with him. As everyone told him in the past. Maybe he finally had enough and realized the truth.

 

He slathers the herbal soap through his hair and scrubs vigorously at his scalp.

 

Yes. That’s exactly why Hongbin changed when he saw his mother. He knows she has been right all along.

 

_Don’t bother yourself with Hakyeon._

 

He chucks the soap at the water and leans back against the rim. He is breathing faster than he remembers and he imagines himself shattering the oil containers. How satisfying it would be. Smash them, destroy them. Not coat himself and make himself shining and beautiful and desirable and whatever other shit it is supposed to do.

 

Closing his eyes, his fingers itch, wanting to do _something_.

 

He should have fought harder. Should have cornered Hongbin. Apologized. Gotten on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness like a proper omega.

 

Fists clenching and unclenching.

 

He wonders what Hongbin would done if he had.

 

Hakyeon climbs out of the bath. He sits on the edge as he picks up one of the jars of oils. It is small and light. He shivers in the cool air, his hair clinging to his back and arms.

 

 _An accident_. He can say. They’re very fragile. No one would blame him.

 

He takes the lid off and pours the oil over the top of his head. It slides thickly down his hair, his back, down to his rear. Down his forehead, nose, neck, chest, landing on and in between his thighs. Shivering again, he places the lid back on the jar, and allows it to fall. It shatters the second it hits the ground. Fine white pieces sprinkle around the bigger broken fragments. Hakyeon stares at it and ghosts his hand over the pieces. He remembers the cup when it shattered. In his nostrils he swears he can smell pine. Allowing his eyes to close he remembers Hongbin holding him so close. The sharp scent of pine muddled with sweet orange with notes of ginger. Their scents mixed together on his skin.

 

For the first time it dawns on him that maybe he is wrong. Before Hongbin's anger was comfort. Why would he bother to take the time to soothe Hakyeon's unease if he was angry? And it isn't like he was quick about it: Hongbin took all the time he needed to bring Hakyeon's calm back.

 

Scents mixed together on his skin. How his hand held Hakyeon's head, safe but strong. Commanding. The press of Hongbin's chest against his own. Firm rock to his moldable clay.  


Hakyeon's eyes open suddenly. His cheeks tint a deep red. He is no longer shivering.  


For two years they were apart. Two years of training and schooling with the government. And the boy they sent was not the man who came back.  


Hakyeon's memory of Hongbin-before is foggy. Of course he remembers Hongbin saving him from the. . . _incident_ . . .with the alpha. But that Hongbin wasn't nearly as defined. It is as if someone painted fresh ink onto a fading drawing. All his lines and angles sharpened. The cut of his jawline and the definition from his cheekbones. Even the intensity of his gaze.  


This was not the same Hongbin.  


And as scary as their walk home was, at the same time it was. . .  


Hakyeon swallows. The energy oozing off Hongbin, the tightness of his muscles and the subtle twitch of his clenched jaw. The hold he had on Hakyeon when he comforted him. Sure and unwavering.  


It was everything like an alpha.  


And it was _hot_ .  


Hakyeon's face glows as red as his angry, cleansed skin. Attempting to ignore it, he rubs the oil into his arms. It is laced with different scents, meant to enhance Hakyeon's own, and yet all he can smell is pine.  


His fingers slide over his chest, closing his eyes again. Hongbin's image is there to greet him behind his eyelids, but he pushes it away, focusing on the oil. But it is stubborn and returns again. This time of his swollen lips parted slightly after scenting him.  


On their own, Hakyeon's fingers graze along his thighs then slip between. His mouth opens slightly as he feels something much thicker than oil coating them. They tentatively glide over it, and his body tenses.

  
He wonders if that is how Hongbin would look after kissing him. Out of breath, lips bruised, skin covered in his scent.  


He allows himself to imagine it: their lips pressing together, eager and desperate. Wanting more and never seeming to get enough.  


His fingers slide over his hole. Thick with slick. Yearning. Wanting something much bigger than his own fingers.  


A primal urge within him allows Hongbin to take control in his fantasy. Yearning for Hongbin to release the inner alpha living inside him.  


His stomach burns with desire and his middle finger slips inside with a soft squelch. Thrusting it shallowly, he pictures Hongbin pulling on Hakyeon's ponytail, forcing the omega to tilt his head back. Shoving his tongue inside Hakyeon's mouth. Distracting Hakyeon as his free hand opens his tunic.  


Hakyeon adds another finger. Pushing them deeper. His hand coated with his own wet desire. It isn't enough.  


His own craving playing into his fantasy.  


Hongbin isn't shy. He squeezes Hakyeon's behind forcefully to expose his hole. Hakyeon's surprised gasp is muffled by Hongbin's tongue. Slick slides heavily down his thighs. His knees threaten to buckle, but Hongbin keeps his hold on him.  


Hakyeon groans and yanks his fingers out. He shifts onto his back and spreads his legs wider as his fingers push themselves back into his hole. Snapping his wrist, he pushes himself faster and deeper. A frustrated groan escapes. His other hand quickly finds his own hardened part.  


Even his imagination isn't enough. He needs more than a kiss: he needs Hongbin on top of him prying his legs open and forcing Hakyeon wider and wider as if he has control and a right to his body.  


In an erratic rhythm, Hakyeon continues, adding another finger as he strokes his erection. He twists his face into the ground, an almost silent moan escaping from somewhere deep inside him. His hair clings to his cheek and his lip.  


How Hongbin would feel inside of him. How it would be like to be pinned under him. Watching Hakyeon twist under him, knowing he is causing his pleasure, his happiness, his satisfaction. The intimate way Hakyeon would consume him and crave it again and again.  


He clenches suddenly around his fingers with a lewd moan. Every muscle in him tenses and his white release settles onto his stomach. For a moment, he remains like that, and shudders, his body finally relaxing. Gasping for air, Hakyeon slides his slick-smothered fingers out. Satisfaction engulfs him.  


However, it doesn't last long. As the euphoria fades, he comes to his senses as he realizes what he just imagined. He blames the omega in his blood. Hongbin is his _friend_. His stomach twists as the shame of after settles in. He never wished to be an omega. He drapes his arm over his eyes and lays there as the feeling engulfs him.

 

Some time passes before he wills himself to finish. He rewashes, ridding himself of the evidence and cleans it off the tiles as well. Dousing himself in the other jar of scented oils, he decides it is good enough. He tries to keep himself from thinking anything else, his mind blank, and eventually returns to his room. He pushes the heat suppressant herbs into his mouth. Something he has bought for himself and hidden long ago. It is like second nature to him, shoving the disgusting leaves into his mouth. What he just did should satisfy his inner omega, but he doesn’t trust it.

 

With Mandu in his arms, he goes to sleep.

  
  


[셋]

  
  


Hakyeon takes a little longer slipping into the agreed upon outfit. The sleeves are long, slightly loose around the wrists, and tighter around his chest and upper arms. His pants are the same mix of tight and loose. There are interlaced threads of silver and gold in with the thin black silk. They weave together to create shimmering dragons and certain types and varieties of flowers. The slippers pitch black, with a subtle point to them, which just makes them all the more uncomfortable.

 

He shines with every movement. And the piece restricts any of those said movements from being quick.

 

Ornamented omega: A spectacle of Hakyeon and the noble’s money.

 

Holding his breath, Hakyeon dares to walk out to the living room. His mother is already waiting him. He takes slow steps and finally stops before her, his eyes downcast. He interlocks his fingers as he waits for her scrutiny.  


"No."  


It is abrupt. Even if he expected it, he still flinches.  


"Take your hair down. Why don't you know this?"  


Carefully, Hakyeon slides the woven tie out, and his black hair cascades down, encircling his face. His arms then rest at his side with slightly clenched fists.  


His mother is quiet as she steps around him, her eyes moving up and down as she searches for imperfection. Well, any fault with the clothes. The imperfection in Hakyeon has been obvious for years.  


"It will do."  


It is as good as a compliment. Hakyeon exhales. His mother moves back around him to the wooden table and retrieves a swatch of red cloth: indicator of a virgin bride or virgin male omega groom. She moves beside him as she fixes it into Hakyeon's hair.  


"He smelled like you."  


Hakyeon's cheeks heat up as he remembers when Hongbin went to be with his mom after their outing.

 

After he scented him.  


The explanation lingers at the tip of his tongue. It was an extra precaution. Because of the engagement. It wasn't meant to be seen as something to start talk or a scandal.  


But he can't bring himself to say it. Out of what? Fear? Humiliation?  


Or is it because he knows it won't change anything?  


Her fingers finish fixing the talisman in his hair and then she grabs a chunk beside it and tugs with more strength than she should posses.  


Hakyeon cries out but her voice raises to be heard over his protests: "Do you not even _think_ !? Are you so stupid you don't even know how stupid you are!?" She releases him finally, and Hakyeon holds his throbbing scalp, refusing to look at her as she continues to yell. "You don't go anywhere! You don't do anything! He is not to be your friend! He is a beta, and you are stupidest omega to exist. You have ruined him enough!" She spins so her back is to him, and Hakyeon closes his eyes, rubbing his head gently.  


Her voice changes suddenly. Becoming quiet instead of shrill: "You are not to speak unless you are spoken to. You are invisible." When Hakyeon opens his eyes, she is leering at him, subtle disgust on her face. To an outsider, they would not resemble mother and son. "Keep your posture and etiquette. Keep your voice low. Don't be more of a disappointment than you already are."  


With that, she walks out of the room, her gait stuff, tense from everything she ran out of time to say.  


Hakyeon remains there, his fingers still resting on his head. He allows himself to regain the composure he has left and goess the way his mother went.  


He passes by the other gathering room and finds Hongbin sitting with a delicate piece of paper sprawled out in before him, his brush flicking the ink in quick decisive strokes. Despite appearing focused, he glances up the second Hakyeon goes to pass him and flashes a subtle, crooked smile, one dimple flashing. His head tilts slightly, highlighting the same jawline Hakyeon fantasized about the night before. He shifts so his legs press closer together, praying it doesn't cause a reaction in his body.  


All his anger is gone it seems. And Hakyeon knows he couldn't not hear his mother's scolding. His cries of pain.  


"Hyung!"  


Hongbin says and abandons his work. He steps up to Hakyeon and hugs him. Hakyeon tenses. Aware of the muscular body pressed against him. Aware of the pine scent surrounding him and collecting on his clothes.  


"I told you not to call me that. . ."  


Hakyeon rips himself from the embrace. Hongbin doesn't try to stop it, but his smile falters.  


"For years you have been my hyung. That is who you have always been, and that is who you will always be to me."  


Saying nothing, Hakyeon laces his fingers together and stares at the ground.  


"You look different with your hair down."  


It is a simple comment, seemingly unimportant. Then Hongbin's eyes fall on the red accent in Hakyeon's hair. Hakyeon catches himself holding his breath as Hongbin reaches for it and brushes his thumb on it. The marking of a virgin omega. A prize. Something he is thanks only to the man standing before him.  


Hongbin's lips purse and his hand moves away.  


"Your rarity isn't what makes you beautiful, hyung"  


An almost soundless gasp escapes from Hakyeon's lips. His heart stumbles on itself, trying to beat properly as he doubts if he heard Hongbin right. He can’t process a response.  


_Is that what he said? What did he just say?_ _  
  
_

"Cha Hakyeon!"  


Hakyeon jumps when he hears his mother shout for him. There's a strain from annoyance already interlaced in it.  


"Good luck and take care, hyung."  


The smile from before is back. Something flashing unrecognizable in Hongbin's eyes.  


"T-Take care," Hakyeon forces out. It is all he can do.

 

The words bounce around in his head. The crooked smile etched in his mind. It gives him both strength and a distraction for the journey to his betrothed.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


The ride isn’t very long. It takes about maybe an hour to get there via carriage, but it is also the farthest Hakyeon has also ever travelled. When he steps out, he expects his surroundings to look different, but they really don’t. All the foliage is the same, with just as many hills. It feels slightly warmer, but he wonders if he is only imaging it. The _hanok_ before them is much more expansive. There is one main building, surrounded by many other smaller buildings. They are made of the same stone as Hakyeon’s own, yet his doesn’t even compare. It obviously is one household. Just one gigantic household.

 

Hakyeon’s father is the one who starts their journey up the path up to the household. He is also dressed in all black, his sword sheathed at his side, more for status than use. A male alpha, a warrior, the opposite of his decorated son.

Hakyeon uses this excuse for why he doesn’t stand next to his father. He almost believes it.

Birds chirp happily in the trees around them. Hakyeon’s heart pounds in his chest when his father finds a servant and tells them who they are, why they are here. The servant is an average male beta. His frame is thin, and he is quiet and polite. All he can think of is if Hongbin would have ended up in this position if they didn’t “adopt” him.

 

The servant tells them to follow him, and Hakyeon’s breath catches in his throat.

 

The buildings open up to reveal a much bigger garden than the one Hakyeon calls his sanctuary. Flowers of every imagined color fill the space, perhaps every type of flower as well. A number of eloquent decorations are scattered around. Finely chiseled, high quality marble. A small spring and waterfall are in the center of the garden.

 

Hakyeon stops listening to his father and the servant talking, gazing up at the bright blue sky and the white billowing clouds. Only then he can relax a little. If he tries hard enough, he can imagine that he is by himself and can easily breathe in the perfumed scent around him.

 

It starts out so faint he thinks he is imagining it. Leftover from his nightmares, hiding back there somewhere in his nostrils. It has happened before, but it typically fades. But this time it grows stronger and cloaks the delicate aroma from the flower petals. It surrounds him, chokes him.

The dry, warm cedar scent.

 

Images flash behind his eyelids of hands reaching for him. Those hungry eyes, a mouth twisted in determination. Remembering his helplessness, the aching need to flee, but his own legs betraying him, his primal urges freezing every muscle up inside him.

 

Hakyeon’s knees buckle underneath him, and he is on the ground, hyperventilating. He forces his eyes open, willing every image from that day away from his sight. One of his fists rests on his chest, his knuckles ghost white. Sweat coats his golden skin in a thin layer, strands of his hair gluing themselves to his cheeks. It blocks most of his sight, so when he sees someone coming towards him, he jumps away, landing on his trembling legs.

 

“N-No!” He shouts. Newly formed tears skew his vision. He can see there are three people before him. One of the men reaches for him, but he steps back.

 

“No!” He shouts again, his voice cracking. Someone yells his name. Anger almost palpable, but he doesn’t care.

 

Hakyeon turns and runs. Numb to the rocks and sticks stabbing into his thinly veiled feet. He runs and runs until he is far enough away from everybody and everything.

 

He isn’t sure exactly when he stops, but he does eventually. He ends up curled up beneath a big oak tree, hugging his knees, and sobbing.

 

Some time passes, and it could have been only minutes or maybe an hour. Eventually he stops shaking. His crying even ceases. But he remains huddled, seeking comfort in himself. No one is there who will hold him, so it is a way of holding himself.

 

When the crying stops, he can hear the birds singing around him again. He can see the pale yellow sun still shining in the sky. All bright and happy. And here he is: a broken piece within the world.

 

He sniffles and wipes at his face, then straightens his hair. He is no longer the beautiful decorated omega he was in the morning. In his frantic escape he fell a couple of times. Dirt crusts his face and dulls the shimmer in his hair. His outfit snagged on a twig somewhere, and now there is a hole in the side of it.

 

He wonders if he really thought the meeting would have gone any differently today.

 

As he dusts himself off, he catches the subtle whiff of cedar again and freezes. Somewhere behind him, a twig cracks, and Hakyeon’s hands start to shake on their own. He stands up suddenly, his back to the tree, swallowing thickly. His pulse echoes in his ears and he is ready, waiting like frightened prey.

 

“Hakyeon!”

 

Hakyeon stares where the sound comes from. His fingers twitch. His whole being anxious to take off. The scent engulfs him. Now he knows to expect it, he catches a fresh fallen rain scent intermixed with the cedar. It is different, but it is still too close, and his stomach twists. He can tell the alpha means to use it to calm him, as an alpha’s scent means to call an omega back home. But bile collects in Hakyeon’s throat. He digs his nails into his palms to steady his hands.

 

“Hakyeon, please. It’s okay..”

 

The alpha steps out finally so he can be seen. He is only a couple inches taller than Hakyeon, yet his physique is doubled of Hakyeon’s. Large arms, and broad, thick chest. Hakyeon feels as small as a mouse, and the cat who is chasing him, a lion. His face almost out of place on his giant body, but with a bone-sharp alpha jawline that puts beta Hongbin’s to shame.

 

Hakyeon’s nails dig deeper into his hand, and he moves back. There’s no way he could stop him if he manages to--

 

Taecyeon raises both his hands in front of him, and he stands still. “You are safe. No one is going to hurt you.” Hakyeon glances at his hands, then back at his face. Tense. Adrenaline flowing through him. “We want you to come back. We can do this the right way. A feast. Food is safe, right?”

 

Hakyeon glances back to his hands, then back to his face, then his chest. His expression says one thing, but his alpha body says something else. The cedar still surrounds him, coating his lungs thickly as if it is smoke. His stomach is still twisted in knots, and he doesn’t think he will be able to eat much, and he doesn’t wish to go back to see his parents.

 

But he also isn’t dumb. Even if he wishes he could hide forever, he knows he can’t.

 

Tentatively, he steps away from the tree. He watches for any shift in Taecyeon, and it doesn’t come. He stands there another second. He relents, although still alert.

 

“Fine.”

 

Taecyeon seems to wait for Hakyeon to make the first move, and when he doesn’t, Taecyeon takes his own step back. Hakyeon watches; like hell he would turn his back on an alpha.

 

The alpha seems to figure it out and guides Hakyeon back to the villa, the latter keeping a reasonable distance from him.

 

Hakyeon isn’t exactly thrilled to face everyone after his episode. As they walk back, he plays with his hair, stroking it between his fingers, dreading seeing them all: his parents and his future parents.

 

When Taecyeon and Hakyeon return, all four of them are gathered around the already-set table. Hakyeon hopes he doesn’t look too horrible. He hopes the food isn’t too cold and ruined.

 

He finally takes in the sight of Taecyeon’s parents. He knew his father is an alpha, and his “mother” is an omega male. Hakyeon’s parents are a little older than Taecyeon’s omega father, who is about ten years or so younger than the alpha father. But it is clear the bushy eyebrows and small face come from the omega, and the bulky build from his father.

 

It is also the first time Hakyeon has seen a “proper” omega male. His head is angled slightly downwards, and his shoulders narrowed. Making himself appear even smaller than he already is.

 

The alpha father is nothing unique. A square face, with a slight black beard and mustache. A rich alpha who commands everyone around him to submit him; his back rigid, as still and confident as an unmovable boulder. Hakyeon’s own father can’t even compare to him.

 

Hakyeon, self-conscious, face red, and refusing to look directly at his mother, sinks down onto his knees and hands, bowing before the noble alpha.  


"I am dearly sorry for my childish display, my lord. I beg your forgiveness. . ."  


The words come easily, yet he doesn't feel them.  


He keeps his head bowed and it is quiet for a moment. Finally, there is a response: "Rise, boy."  


Hakyeon listens and stands slowly. The alpha father looks him over. Eyes squinted, lips pursed.  


"Such behavior is expected from omegas. It is why they need an alpha to guide them and bring them back. You handled it well, my son."  


"Thank you, father," Taecyeon responds from beside Hakyeon. A muscle in Hakyeon's jaw twitches. If anyone brought Hakyeon back, it was Hakyeon himself.  


"Please sit. Let us feast and welcome each other into our families."  


Taecyeon takes his respective seat next to his father at the head of the table, and next to his omega father. Hakyeon uneasily takes the seat across from Taecyeon, and between both alpha fathers. His stomach clenches; it is the most alphas he has ever had around him, and it is already too much.  


The servants move around them quickly, serving the food. It is plentiful. A piece of lamb is placed on Hakyeon's plate, a meat he has never seen or eaten. It isn't even too common in their culture, speaking volumes of how much wealth they truly have. Slathered in a berry sauce. There is no shortage of vegetables seasoned in herbs, mostly eggplant and carrot. There is also cooked tofu and a rice dish cooked with seasonings he doesn't recognize.  


He waits a little to start eating, taking a quiet note on how Taecyeon eats his food, and also on how his omega father behaves. In the end, he attempts to copy the omega.  


"We couldn't have asked for a clearer day to meet. The earth is blessing the matchmaker's decision."

"Yes. It is a good sign," Hakyeon's father replies to Taecyeon's father's comment. Hakyeon sucks on his rice. A good sign with the omega groom running away, sure.

Hakyeon takes a piece of the lamb to taste, and fights the urge to moan. He has never eaten something so flavorful. Any meat he has had has been overcooked and dry. But this is so tender and juicy. He dabs the juice the falls past his mouth with his napkin, then notices Taecyeon looking at him, and Hakyeon stares at the food on his plate, guilty for some reason he doesn’t know..

“With your permission, I would like to go through with the fitting for the wedding gown.”

 

Hakyeon almost chokes on his piece of lamb.

“Already, my lord?” Hakyeon’s father asks, just as surprised as his son. “We have not been here long.”

“I have seen everything I need to make this decision,” the father replies as he folds his napkin and places it on the table in front of him. “Your son is an average omega. A beautiful omega, yes, but one who needs to be trained, as they all need to be when they are young.” With this, he claps a hand on his omega husband’s shoulder. “I know this is true. And your son is no different than Junho was at that age. He already proved his potential, so I know he can be tamed. And I know from what I witnessed today that Taecyeon can be the one to do this.”

Hakyeon places down his chopsticks, and tries to keep his food down.

“We will make sure he knows to behave better,” Hakyeon’s mother throws in. There’s the edge in her tone that tells Hakyeon he has not yet escaped her scolding.

“No.” It is firm and short in his deep voice. “Allow him. In fact, I encourage you to let him keep his wild, omega quirks. It will be good for my boy, and yours. Nothing will work on him until his mate puts him in his place.”

Hakyeon’s half-full plate of food starts to spin before him and he has to close his eyes and slow his breathing. His body tipping towards the edge of fainting or throwing up.

“Then let’s continue towards the date?” Hakyeon’s father suggests and Taecyeon’s father enjoys the suggestion. They discuss what needs work and what needs to be prepared, as Hakyeon focuses on not passing out.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


Hakyeon's room is twice the size of his own room at his home. The bed itself is three times the size and soft enough that he wishes he could sleep all the rest of his days away.  
He is thankful he has his own room. His parents are staying somewhere else in the villa. At least then he can avoid the looks of anger and disappointment. Of course, he will have to face them at some point, but for now he can breathe.

 

A servant brings him a basin of water, and he can at least scrub some of the remaining dirt off his skin. When they offered for him to use their nice, hot spring baths, he never declined something so fast in his life. Luckily they didn’t question or pressure him. He is sure his mother wished to, but thankfully she was smart enough to not do it in front of everyone.

 

He cleans himself quickly. The servant this time is an omega girl, vanilla sugar radiating off her, sweet and quiet. He could spend more time making himself presentable, but he is very aware that she is a servant and he is the one engaged to the noble heir. Both omegas, but he is “lucky” to be male. He is a prize and she is worthless.

 

“Thank you,” he says quietly. She only bows her head respectively to him then exits his room.

 

He brought his own pajamas, but they provided one for him. As well as the rest of his clothes for the weekend visit. He isn’t sure whether to be thankful or to feel helpless. At least he can finally change out of his ruined outfit.

 

The door has no lock, so he changes quickly, or as quickly as he can. He wishes to tear the shimmering outfit off, but he knows if they ever found out he did, it would be rude and disrespectful. Instead he claws the tight top off his torso, and fights the pants off. The instant it is off, he pulls their pajamas over his head. It is long, with an open bottom, resembling a dress, which he hates and wishes he can close. But it is the most comfortable piece he has ever worn. As soft and comforting as a blanket. He presses the ends of his too-long sleeves to his face. It reminds him of Mandu.

 

There is light tap on the door, and he almost doesn’t believe it is a knock until it comes again. At home, he would just tell the person to come in, but he isn’t sure if that itself is disrespectful. He goes to the door, suddenly aware the garment is much shorter than he realized, and wishes some of the material that was used for his stupid sleeves were added to his legs instead.

 

He opens the door and the waft of cedar flows uninvited into his room. His legs snap together on instinct, providing the only barrier he can actually create, and his fingers tighten on the door. Taecyeon stands there, holding a bundle of blankets and pillows in his huge arms. He is smiling, unaware of Hakyeon analyzing all the possible escapes: darting under his arm, throwing him off balance with surprise, kicking his--

 

“I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and won’t get cold.”

 

“O-Oh..” Hakyeon replies. He stands there, stiff and unmoving, when it occurs to him that what he said wasn’t a correct response, so he forces himself to add, “Thank you.”

 

They both stand there a bit longer, Hakyeon unaware he is blocking the entrance. He stares at the bedding Taecyeon is holding, and Taecyeon shifts slightly.

 

“Could. . .I set these onto your bed?” He finally asks.

 

“Oh!” Feeling a bit dumb, Hakyeon steps to the side, eyes glued on Taecyeon’s every movement, the cedar still making his heart pound. He absently tries to yank the outfit farther down when the alpha isn’t paying attention to him.

 

Taecyeon sets the pile onto Hakyeon’s bed. He sorts them a little, making it look nicer.

 

“I know sometimes my father feels like nesting at what seems like random times,” he says, referring to when omegas surround themself with soft and comforting items, as if to make a nest, spreading their scent as they make a nice kind of home. What he doesn’t say is that an omega typically brings items and clothes from their alpha and includes those in their little circle. “I would rather you have it, just in case. Even I sometimes like to lounge.”

 

Taecyeon faces Hakyeon again, and Hakyeon wonders what exactly the alpha sees when he looks at his future husband. Does he see wide eyes, his body closed in on itself in a way to protect himself? Does he notice all his muscles tightened, ready to run the second something goes wrong? Did he pick up on Hakyeon’s new habit of digging his nails into his palms to steady and ground himself whenever he is around the alpha? Can he hear Hakyeon holding his breath so he doesn’t suffocate on his scent?

 

And is he still desirable to the alpha?

 

“Sleep well tonight, Hakyeon,” Taecyeon says, nodding his head a little, and flashing an easy smile.

 

If he does see it, why doesn’t it seem like it bothers him?

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


The next day Hakyeon is measured for his wedding outfit. They already measured most of him, which is why he already is given clothes, but now they measure almost everything. His head, his wrists, his ankles, his neck. It takes longer than he thought it would. The _ahjumma_ moves quickly, barking orders to the omega girl servants. Hakyeon wishes to hide as they touch, grip, and hold him. Even if they are female omegas and a beta, he still isn't comfortable being groped and tugged.

 

After, they go on a walk through their land. Both sets of parents accompany them. They stop at one point to eat their packed _kimbap_ , and Taecyeon’s father tells them both to continue on without them. Hakyeon keeps himself a step behind Taecyeon. His slippers feel thinner today, and that is part of the reason he moves so slow. He is decked in a pale gold robe, long and flowing. Hair still free, he finds himself playing with it more than he would when it is tied back.

 

As they walk through the rich forest, Taecyeon tells stories about when he was a boy, and his grandmother he was close too. Hakyeon half-listens. He wonders if Taecyeon’s parents knew he would be an alpha before he presented. It seems obvious to him; a beta would never be that huge, but it is possible he wasn’t always so big.

 

Somewhere along the journey, Taecyeon realizes he is doing all the talking. He asks questions to Hakyeon. About his childhood, about Mandu, about things he likes or dislikes. Hakyeon is hesitant at first. The questions don’t scare him, although he knows he could potentially give a “wrong” answer. He has never been asked the questions, though. Anyone who would ask him anything, he grew up with. No one else cared enough to ask. And Hongbin already knows the answers to all of them whether he realizes it or not.

 

At one point Taecyeon stops and places a hand on a thick tree trunk. He stares up at the leaves, those hugs caterpillar eyebrows deep in thought. Hakyeon takes his eyes off the alpha for a moment, and stares up at the blue sky peeking through the full branches. Searches for whatever Taecyeon is concerned about, but doesn’t find it.

 

“I am sorry for what happened to you.”

 

A critter darts somewhere behind them and the bushes rustle, making Hakyeon jump. Taecyeon’s focus is now back on him, and Hakyeon wraps his arms around himself, ducking his head.

 

His throat is dry. He swallows, but it doesn’t help.

 

“I-I should have known better--” He swallows again and tucks his hands under his armpits to hide their shaking. The cedar he was able to block out is now making itself known at full force. “I should have stopped Hongbin. I-I could have saved him.” He doesn’t know why he says it. He has never had the courage to admit that aloud. “I-It was my fault. A-And now. . .”

Tears slide down his cheeks, seemingly from nowhere, and he is trembling again.

 

“No.”

 

Taecyeon stares him down, frowning. It is so intense that Hakyeon trembles more. Something deep inside him telling him this is where he gets hit. This is where he pays for what happened. One alpha finishing what the other should have long ago.

 

“It isn’t your fault.”

 

Hakyeon blinks away his tears, he is sure he heard him wrong.

 

“Nothing that happened then was your fault.”

 

“I--” Hakyeon speaks up. It is quiet, but he is ready to argue with the alpha. Another act of a courage that is so out-of-character for him..

 

“And Hongbin would tell you the same thing,” Taecyeon replies, cutting him off firmly. As if he knows Hongbin. A beta he has never met.

 

“He would no--”

 

“I’m damn sure he would.” Taecyeon is getting louder, and Hakyeon flinches. “Hongbin knew what he was doing. Hongbin knew what would happen to him, or at least suspected. He is his own person. Every decision he made then was his own. His punishment he brought happily down onto himself.”

 

Hakyeon dabs at his eyes with his sleeves. He is still shaking, something inside him to tell him to fear the alpha, not to trust him.

 

But he doesn’t listen to his omega instinct for a second, and he relaxes enough to wipe his face.

 

When Taecyeon continues, the determined anger that rose within him is gone. “Yeah. A heat brings about a rut. It is simple dynamics or whatever. But it doesn’t mean a rut always needs to be acted upon.” He shrugs and focuses back on the tree, playing with a piece of bark. “I can’t say for sure if I would have been able to resist. I have never been in that situation. And, yeah, it would be tempting, especially someone as stunning as you. . .” He shrugs as the piece falls to the ground and he tears another one off. “But a true alpha should have a reign over his own nature. At least that’s what believe. If an alpha is meant to tame, shouldn’t he tame himself first?”

 

Hakyeon stares at his pinkish slippers. A dusting of red over his cheeks. Not knowing what to do, say, or think, he remains silent. But his body is finally at ease.

 

“Sorry. We can continue. . .”

 

The journey back to their parents is somber. Taecyeon no longer talking or asking any questions. Hakyeon still keeps himself a couple steps away.

 

However, Hakyeon does let his gaze wander a little more than he did when they were on their way up the hill.

  
  


[넷]

  
  


The rest of the visit goes surprisingly well. Hakyeon knows he gives wrong answers, and probably doesn't behave properly, and it is all the more amusing for Taecyeon's alpha father. He particularly enjoys when Hakyeon spills a red sauce over the tablecloth and himself during one of their many meals. Hakyeon's face heated up, and he waits for the yelling. Instead the father _laughs_.

  
"You're going to have your hands full with this one, son," he tells Taecyeon and slaps him on the back. Taecyeon laughs with him, although much quieter.

  
What Hakyeon considers warning signs don't bother them at all. He starts hearing the father say how Taecyeon needs to "take care of his omega." Needs to "help his omega."

  
Not once during the visit does the father change his wording: he is _Taecyeon's_ omega.  


And Hakyeon is just waiting for the catch, the punchline.

 

Surely it will be sent in a letter?

  
Hakyeon does find himself watching the omega husband. He laughs with his husband, but never speaks. His eyes are always down during the meals, and whenever they are asked a question from Hakyeon's parents, the alpha husband always answers. Unless you ask the omega directly, he never answers. And if he does, it is short and barely audible. It is almost as if he is mute, but he isn’t.

  
It is hard for Hakyeon to study him. He doesn't want to be caught staring. He just wants to know if all the rumors are true.

  
Taecyeon's ancestry has been graced by alpha leaders who mate with omega males. Everyone nearby knows the family line enjoys claiming them up, so it is no surprise when Hakyeon was paired with Taecyeon. Even if he wasn't, an extended line from the family would have probably sought him out.

  
And Hakyeon has heard rumors of the so-called "taming" Taecyeon's father talks about. Omegas in general are seen as a spread-open pair of legs with an aching womb. Turn them into fathers, into mothers. By quelling their heat, omegas can be a "proper" human. Any omega who is married off is impregnated within months.  


But some take it too far. Rumors circulate. Full castration of omega males. Confining an omega for days to spike their desire for their mates. Loaning out to a friend or family member. Forcing full submission in not only the bedroom but in public as well.

  
And "too far" is not widely recognized; it is Hakyeon's own opinion. If an alpha decides to beat an omega at a market, no one will stop them: they are their mate, and they are their property.  


They will just look away.  


Hakyeon has so many questions, but he is sure he doesn't want to hear the truth. And even he may happily buy the sweet innocent lies the alpharchy society will give him.  


When they go back in their carriage, Hakyeon's mother doesn't scold him. She doesn't say anything. Her one reflexed response to yell at her son isn't valid. They approved of him and his faults. Neither of them know how to react.

 

The silence of the ride back makes the journey home seem much longer. They come back to their villa in the late morning. All three eat once again together, the conversation short. Hakyeon's father leaves to go out. To meet someone, to do something. Whatever alpha males do all day. Maybe drink liquor; Hakyeon doesn't know.  


After the meal, his mother also leaves. She tells Hakyeon to behave, and he just agrees.  
Before she steps out she tells him: "I don't know how you managed this. But don't screw it up."  
At least it could have been worse.  


For an hour or so, Hakyeon is bored. He does have some chores to do, but they just got back. Even his strict parents wouldn't expect him to get straight to work. _Let the frail omega relax_ . Something like that.  


He gives Mandu something to eat and plays with her a little. Her claws catch on his gifted robe, and he isn't sure if he should be concerned about it. Of course it is another expensive garment Taecyeon's family gifted him. It is also his favorite: cream flowers etched onto a navy background. The material is softer too. Flowy, comfortable.  


But it is also his now, right?  


He eyes the little snags Mandu created. She watches him, eyes big and round. Hakyeon only smiles. No one will notice. It isn't important, right?  


Mandu scampers away after a bird, leaving Hakyeon sitting alone in the garden.  


Or what he thought was alone.  


Hongbin is walking towards him, carrying his scrolls. Chansik and Hongbin have been continuing their studies with a scholar ever since they came back. Almost every day, Hongbin is gone for most of the day to do so. Either that or to train in fighting. Hakyeon hadn't realized it was time for him to come home already.  


Hongbin is not paying attention as he walks the familiar route back to his room.  


Hakyeon eases himself onto his feet. "Hongbin."  


Hongbin stops and looks at Hakyeon. He stares at him, taking longer than necessary to process Hakyeon.  


"Oh. Right. You're home." His eyebrows furrow a little. "Why isn't your hair tied back?"  


Hakyeon grazes a self-conscious hand over his hair. "I forgot. You know they like it down. . ."  


"Just as I forgot you came back today. I got a little too used to the private."  


"You didn't miss me?" Hakyeon asks before he can stop himself. Hongbin doesn't reply, and he isn't sure what to make of that.  


"Let me put these back," Hongbin says, lifting the scrolls up to gesture them. "You can tell me how it went."  


Hongbin starts back towards his room.  


"Come on," he says when he notices Hakyeon doesn't follow right away.  


Hongbin steps inside his doorway, and lays his scrolls on the table in the middle of his room. Hongbin occupies a much larger room than Hakyeon. It isn't because he is a higher rank than Hakyeon, but because he was taken in after his parents passed. It was always meant to be a guest room. But when he was essentially adopted, this was the only spare room they had after the other one which went to the girls.  


Hakyeon lingers in the doorway. He really hasn't been in it after Hongbin sheltered him after the. . . _encounter_ . Hakyeon swears he can still smell faded-ginger-spiced-orange from his heat. Even if if was two years ago, Hakyeon can remember what it was like. Laying curled in a ball, craving release. Sweat and other. . . _fluids_ . . .dripping on Hongbin's blankets. The intense pain that stung afterwards. The blood from failing to be mated.  


If an alpha is supposed to fight his urges like Taecyeon said, Hakyeon suddenly realizes that has to be impossible. He was a helpless, begging mess, pleading to be wrecked by anyone and everyone. No alpha could resist. He would like to see Taecyeon try.  


He isn't sure how even beta Hongbin was able to resist.  


"It must have been hell for you," Hakyeon whispers, more thinking aloud than talking to Hongbin.  


"Hm?"  


Hongbin glances up, eyes just as bright as Mandu's when she hears her name.  


"How did you ever get the smell out. . ." Hakyeon asks, this time a bit louder.  


Hongbin's face scrunches. "Just walk in here."  


Hakyeon blanchs and jumps slightly in his place. "H-Huh?"  


Hongbin sharply sucks in air. "It is a lot less awkward if you don't linger." He blushes a little. "I-I sleep here every night. So don't think about it. I don't."  


Quietly, Hakyeon crosses the threshold. Even if Hongbin didn't think about it, Hakyeon couldn't just forget. Hongbin didn't even see much. He doesn't know about Hakyeon resting on his bed and using his fingers. Craving something much bigger and satisfying. Calling out for Hongbin and begging for--  


"I did what I had to do. Okay!? That's it!"  


Hakyeon flinches, starting to feel guilty, maybe even a tiny bit afraid. His fingers pick at each other, and he watches them, then glances from behind his hair at Hongbin. The other had torn his hair out of its bun, looking just as flustered as Hakyeon himself. The small piece of cloth is sitting on the table. Then he sits down.  


Their eyes lock and Hakyeon looks away quickly.  


"I'm sorry," Hongbin says then sighs. "Please just come in. . ." He pauses for a second. "I can show you what I’ve been working on."  


Hakyeon hesitates, but then nods. He moves slowly into the chair across from Hongbin, pulling his robe tightly around himself. He folds his hands into his lap and watches as Hongbin unrolls one of the scrolls he set down. Black strokes cover the paper, defined and confident. Hakyeon knows they are characters, that they are words, but they will forever be just ink to him. Just another black and white painting.  


"He gives us our lessons and we write them down. He tells us stories, insights, theories. He encourages us to develop our own or analyze it ourselves," he shrugs. "It is a lot of writing. And a lot of thinking. And kind of boring"  


Hakyeon stares at the scroll in front of him. Writing so someone else could read or see. Talking on a page.  


He frowns. _Boring he says. . ._  


"Can I watch?"  


Hongbin misunderstands. "The lesson?"  


"You. Write."  


As soon as he asks, he feels a little silly. Yet he knows he wants it. His fingers fiddle in his lap a little, twitching with anticipation.  


"Huh? Oh. Uh. . .sure."  


Hongbin grabs the already used scrolls on the table and moves them to the side. He grabs the ink pot, a fresh brush, and a new scroll from his stash in his room. When he gathers all the materials, he picks up the piece of cloth and ties his hair back into a loose bun.  


"What would you like to see?" He asks. Hakyeon is pretty sure he knows it will all look the same to him, but at least it is a kind and considerate question.  


"Your favorite parable?"  


Hongbin tilts his head slightly, in thought, and the sun kisses that sharp jawline of his. Hakyeon finds himself staring at it until Hongbin leans forward and starts to write.  


"There used to be a trial required by all alphas."  


The paper licks up the ink as soon as the brush touches it. Hongbin flicks his wrist, creating a streak, then another. Fingertips pressing into the brush, moving it seamlessly as if it was an extension of his hand.  


"All who passed it were granted fame and fortune."  


Hakyeon watches in awe, mesmerized. Staring at the defined veins on Hongbin's hand, wondering when those got there.  


"It was their way of defining a true alpha. One by one, they would enter the cave."  
Hongbin's eyes don't stray from the paper, and Hakyeon bites his lip, seeing the intensity and focus. Remembering his bath, he pushes his legs a little closer together.  


"At the end of the cave was their promised treasure for when they passed. They would have to collect it and bring it out. However, when they came to the treasure, the tiger would wake and block their exit."  


He stops writing for a second, his eyebrows furrowing. His lips press together in a frown and Hakyeon realizes how much he has been staring at the man, not the writing, and adverts his gaze in shame. When did he become so captivating? What did they do to him for two years?  
Or was he always this handsome and Hakyeon just never noticed?  


"When Dowoon saw the tiger, he froze. He was a warrior, but he was never the best. When he saw the teeth he imagined them crunching his bones and the claws slashing his flesh. Immobile he remained, until he died of hunger and thirst."  


Hakyeon plays with his fingers, keeping his eyes solely on the scroll, watching the characters on the page appear from thin air.  


"If he ran forward, he would have seen what every other alpha saw: the tiger was an illusion. There was never any harm. Yet he died by his own cowardice."  


Hongbin finishes writing and lays the brush down.  


"Why do you like that one?" Hakyeon asks.  


Hongbin's mouth twitches slightly as he glances over the scroll, his eyes moving as he reads what he wrote.  


"Sometimes you are afraid when you don't have to be. And you are responsible for your own unhappiness. Or death."  


Hakyeon searches Hongbin's face for a second.  


"And you believe that?"  


Hongbin purses his lips again, and his eyes squint a little as they always do when he thinks. "I guess I do." He tilts his head once more and he sucks in a breath, then adds, "And you should go after what you really want. That I believe."  


Hakyeon nods, although he isn't sure he agrees. Rather, he isn't sure is he is _supposed_ to agree.

 

Not as an omega.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  
  
That night, Hakyeon wakes suddenly, covered in sweat, tears dried on his face. He can hear his blood pounding in his ears as he gasps for breath. He tells himself it was just a dream, but it wasn't a dream. A memory.  


When his breathing evens out a little, he brings his knees to his chest and hugs them.

 

The imaginary cedar smell dissipating. His cheeks are wet before he realizes he is crying again.  


He can hear his mother's voice ringing in his head: _he didn't even touch you. Stop it._ _  
  
_

And she is right. He didn't.  


The day Hakyeon went to his favorite spring and he happened to go into heat, the alpha stumbled across him and fisted Hakyeon's tunic.  


But that was the only hand he ever placed on Hakyeon.  


Hongbin found them before it escalated. He pulled the alpha away, fought. As a beta, he struggled, and was wounded. But his scent--his lovely pine scent--calmed the alpha and soothed Hakyeon for awhile. Not another hand was laid on Hakyeon, but his mother didn't know that wasn't the problem. No, he wasn't _touched_ , but he knew what would have happened if Hongbin didn't show up. He remembers the lustful flash in his eyes, a primal hunger awakening during that alpha’s rut.  


That is what haunts him. It is what he dreams about almost every night.  


And the fear of how he himself became an animal that day. He had only one thought that day and one thought only. A desire burning deep within his stomach and in the wet place between his legs. Hakyeon didn't care who did it. Just someone, anyone. To make it stop and satisfy the disgusting carnal beast inside him.  


He begged Hongbin to do it. Shame always engulfs him when he remembers clinging to Hongbin on their journey back home. Wrapped in Hongbin's own tunic to disguise the scent of a heated omega. His hands groping at Hongbin's thin undershirt. His pleading and inappropriate begging. Taking Hongbin's hand into his mouth before his friend could stop him, trying to show off whatever skill Hakyeon thought he had with his mouth. Trying to induce a rut in a beta who is physically unable to have one.  


Hakyeon didn't even stop there.  


Hongbin locked Hakyeon into his own room and protected him. Made sure Hakyeon had water and food. Somehow blocking out Hakyeon’s continued begging and his obscene moans as the omega tried to satisfy himself. How blunt and vulgar when he was frustrated. Asking Hongbin to just fucking feed him his damn cock.  


Hakyeon tries to block the memories out. Sometimes he succeeds, but the embarrassment never leaves.  


He is sure Hongbin can't forget what happened that day. He does a good job of pretending, but Hakyeon knows he can't.  


And if this is what he was like with his best friend, how would it have been with the alpha? Because he knows deep down he wanted it.  


No.  


_He_ didn't want it. The omega did. His horrible unself that is most definitely _not_ him. So reptilian and greedy it _can't_ be him.  


But in the heat, in the the moment, the omega took over. He wanted to be mated.  


And it isn't him. He does not wish to be mated by anyone. He does not wish for any alpha to pin him down and have his way with him.  


If he learned anything from his encounter, it is that the omega is not who he is. He is Hakyeon, a person. Not a creature made to be fucked.

  
  


[다섯]

  
  


The nightmares continue for consecutive nights. It is like Taecyeon's scent opened some door Hakyeon at least managed to close halfway. Now it creeps in to consume him, like a dense fog. He hasn't had much sleep since, and the circles under his eyes are so dark they look like bruises.  


He knows it, but his mother is kind enough to tell him.  


"You look awful. Like you got beat up and slept under the bushes last night."  


Hakyeon tries not to react or respond. He just lets her scold him as he is used to.  


"You need to fix this. No one is going to want to marry this. . .this _mess_ ."  


He tells her he will, and he does try. During the day, he sometimes manages to take a nap, and sometimes he can sleep a little. But the nightmares follow him into the day too.  


His wedding garment comes sooner than he expects it would. It surprises him when it is delivered. And as soon as it is, he ordered to try it on. To make sure everything is perfect, to fix the flaws.  


Although the biggest flaw isn't the clothing, but the man who is wearing it.  


Unlike the other pieces his future family sent him, Hakyeon isn't allowed to change by himself.  


_Can't risk it being torn. You will surely mess it up._ _  
  
_

Of course, Hakyeon is told this when his parents are busy entertaining company. It isn't a lot of people, just Chansik and his fiancée, Hongbin's sister, who already came back in for Hakyeon's wedding, and two of his mother's closest _ahjumma_ friends.  


 

His mother shoos Hongbin and Chansik away for a moment, leaving him there with all women, ordered to change.  


He doesn't enjoy undressing in front of everyone. But he knows to listen to his mother or else. He casts off his simple black robe until he is down to just his thin underwear.  


He doesn't stay unclothed for long. His mother and her friends help pull it onto him. He is pulled and yanked, almost to the point of losing his balance at one point. If anyone was to tear the piece it would be them, not him.  


It is a traditional scarlet robe, tight around his torso, but looser on his arms. It extends all the way down to his toes; he isn't sure how he is supposed to walk in it, but perhaps that is on purpose to try to keep him from running away. Again.  


It is made of the nicest silk Hakyeon has ever seen. Threads so thin with gold intertwined throughout. The body is covered in designs: a mix of flowers with a large dragon etched in between. There are a couple of symbols mixed in with the flowers. He doesn't know what they say, but he knows whatever they say, it is supposed to bring it. Purity, fertility, and whatever else an omega husband is supposed to have and be.  


There are quiet gasps of awe.  


"You really look like royalty, Hakyeon," Jiyeon, the fiancée says, her hands over her mouth with widened eyes.  


"Very regal and elegant," Eunbyul echoes.  


Hakyeon stands there, blood rushing to his face and gazes at his hands, playing with his long fingers.  


"Get the makeup. Finish the look." One of the _ahjummas_ barks the order to his mother, and he finds it oddly refreshing to hear someone bossing her around.  


When his mother leaves to get the makeup, the same _ahjumma_ calls out, "Chansik! Hongbin! Get back in here! And bring more of the tea and sweets!"  


Eunbyul stands up and moves in front of Hakyeon and straightens the material on his shoulders.  


"You really do look nice, Hakyeon," she whispers to him as if it is a secret between them.  


"Thank you. . ."  


As he finishes speaking, he sees Hongbin and Chansik walk back in, the latter carrying the tea kettle. He provides the women with fresh tea and Hongbin places the plate of sweets and snacks onto the table. As he sets it down, their eyes meet for a second, but Hakyeon is quick to look away.  


"Thank you." One _ahjumma_ says and stuffs one of the biscuit cookies into her mouth. "You have made yourselves very useful."  


Hakyeon's mother comes back into the room, carrying a small bag. Eunbyul steps out of the way.  


"Boys. Doesn't he look like a fine mate?" The _ahjumma_ adds.  


Hakyeon's back tenses. It is a weird and slightly inappropriate question. Hongbin is his friend, and Chansik already has a mate of his own.  


Chansik agrees quietly, but Hakyeon catches Hongbin still staring.  


"Perhaps you higher-tier boys can give him advice," she goes on, referencing them as beta and alpha; the "higher-tier." "Help him out."  


"Maybe to stand a little taller?" Chansik suggests. He is hesitant, though, and gives Hakyeon an apologetic look.  


"That is a good one," one _ahjumma_ whispers.

 

Hakyeon's mother moves in front of him, hisses at him to stay still, and applies the kohl delicately to his eyes, blocking his view.  


"Why does he have to improve at all?"  


It is quiet after Hongbin speaks. Hakyeon digs his nails into his palm. Wishing to see the beta. Wishing to know what he is thinking.  


"There's always something to improve," the other _ahjumma_ says. Hakyeon's mother grumbles a "damn right," mostly for his benefit.  


"They saw him already and approved. Besides, there is nothing to change."  


There is a mutter behind Hakyeon. He can't hear the words, but he doesn't have to.

Broken beta.  


His nails press deep into his skin. "N-No." His mother stops for a second, allowing him to speak. "I have many faults. I need all the help I can get. P-Please?"  


_Please think about your reputation and not about me for once._ _  
  
_

He catches the side of Hongbin's face that isn't blocked behind his mother's head. Eyebrows furrow, and his jaw sets into the familiar anger that turned Hakyeon on what feels like months ago.  


"Fine." He all but spits the word. "You could stand straighter. And keep your chin up. Stop letting your hair fall into your face. It makes you look helpless."  


His stomach twists slightly. But it took the focus off Hongbin and it put it back on him.  


He is okay being the screwed up one. He is okay with the comments and rumors spreading around about him. But he can't let it continue to happen to Hongbin.  


"Thank you. . ."  


Eunbyul then speaks up. Asking how long the ride to the noble's place is. When exactly they are leaving. It is light and probably makes her seem forgetful or just dumbly curious. But it also ends the conversation smoothly and Hakyeon relaxes. He will thank her later.  


The kohl is applied and then his mother dabs on some residue from a shimmering rock. She takes a step back to admire her work and one of the _ahjummas_ calls her from the kitchen. Sometime during it all, she must have left. His mother leaves to join her, clearing the view for him to see Hongbin again.

 

His expression is slightly unreadable. Eyebrows pressed together, corners of his lips tilted downwards. And he is staring at Hakyeon. Hakyeon adverts his gaze away again.  


"Don't do that."  
H

akyeon digs his nails back into his fist. He doesn't know what Hongbin means, so he doesn't respond. Hakyeon then realizes both _ahjummas_ and his mother stepped out. It is why Hongbin is okay with being so bold.  


"Hongbin--" Eunbyul starts to chastise her brother, but Hongbin cuts her off.  


"I don't care if that was to protect me. I can take care of myself, hyung."  


Hakyeon tenses a little. The first time he has been called hyung in the open around other people. People he can trust, but he can’t help but to feel guilt. It is no title for an omega.  


"Give him a break," Chansik says with an exasperated groan. Hakyeon is a little surprised to hear him speak up. He catches sight of him now reclined in a chair, Jiyeon on his lap. Aware of his presence again, Hakyeon can pick up the strong notes of apple hanging in the air. "It's not his fault."  


Hongbin shoots Chansik a glare. The alpha doesn't turn away, and Hakyeon feels something in the air pass between them. He shifts in place, slightly uncomfortable.  


Whatever happens makes Hongbin's shoulders relax a little. Then he sighs and turns back to Hakyeon.  


"You really need to stand up straighter."  


Hakyeon faces Hongbin again.  


"You look like you're waiting for someone to beat you up--"  


"Hongbin!"  


"Or like you're gonna cry--"  


" _Hongbin_ !"  


"But you're stronger than that. And you should show it."  


Hakyeon unclenches his fist, only to clench it again. He searches Hongbin's face, wondering what to say or do. Eunbyul, now standing on her feet, looks ready to drag Hongbin out by his ear.  


"The first thing I learned was that your body tells someone all they need to know about you. And it also tells them what you really think of yourself. So stand straight."  


_Is he trying to tell me to like myself?_ _  
  
_

Hakyeon opens his mouth, a response ready, but Hongbin continues on once more.  
"Face your punishment head-on. I'm sorry yours is longer."  


Hakyeon's mouth hangs agape. _Punishment?_  


"That's enough!" Eunbyul snaps. She takes Hongbin forcefully by the arm and drags him out of the room. Hakyeon watches them until they disappear.  


His hands start to shake as the word plays over and over again in his mind.  


_Punishment?_  


Is this how Hongbin really sees his engagement? Is that really what it is?  


Hakyeon remembers when the alpha who assaulted him accused Hongbin publically. No one is meant to break the mating of an omega in heat. It is the law. It helps the omega, saves the omega. All they see is the physical "symptoms" ease and justify it.  


And Hongbin didn't allow it.  


It was social suicide. He ruined his reputation. His name. His future.  


Hakyeon's family sent him away. Two years of training and studying with the government. Fix the wrong within Hongbin for good.  


But not before he apologized to the alpha in public. Before everyone. The whole village. It wasn't heartfelt at all, but no one knew that except those close to Hongbin.  


Hakyeon clenches his hands, skin stretching over his knuckles.  


He remembers the carriage that took his friend away for two whole years.  


_I'm sorry yours is longer._ _  
  
_

Why didn't he see it before? That is exactly what this is.  


Retraining.  


Fixing.  


"Hakyeon!" The palm strikes against his cheek. You're ruining it! Stop blubbering! If you do this on your wedding day I swear to--"  


His mother's voice fades into the background as he continues to sob.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  
  
  


Hakyeon takes longer in the bath than he needs to this time. In one way, he is hiding, and in another, he is dragging it out as if it will give him more time until they leave to go to the noble's place once more for his binding marriage.

  
It is probably the last bath he will have in complete privacy. And probably even the last time he will feel okay being alone. Not always on guard, waiting for someone to criticize or scold him. Even worse this time. It won't be his mother this time. But an alpha. An alpha who is just putting an omega in his place and making him be what he wants him to be.

 

And he will finally see if the rumors are true. Will they castrate him? Will they beat him until complete submission? Will they punish any speaking out of turn?

  
He knows the family line loves omegas, but if it is true. . .  


Climbing out of the bath, he dries himself quickly. He finds his heat suppressant herbs and chokes them down, gagging slightly from their bitter taste.  


He puts on his plain tan robe and goes back to his room. Staring at the ground, damp hair hanging. He doesn't see when he almost walks into Hongbin.  


Hongbin jumps back and some of the thick white liquid splashes out from his ceramic cup. Hakyeon's eyes widen, but he isn't sure what to do or say as he remembers what happened between them the day before.  


"S-Sorry--"  


He starts but Hongbin just cuts him off with an annoyed groan and takes a long sip from his drink. As he tilts his head back, Hakyeon notices the faint red tinting of his cheeks and the strong scent of alcohol intermixed with his usual pine. He just stares. He doesn't remember seeing him drink before. Not since his father took him and Chansik to do so.  


Hongbin's fingers tighten around the black ceramic cup. He studies the remaining liquid, purses his lips, and Hakyeon continues to watch him.  


"H-Hongbin.."  


He ignores Hakyeon. Sloshing the drink around then forcing the rest of the rice wine into his mouth.  


"H-How much have you had..?"  


Hongbin swallows and then thinks a little, his head cocking slightly. "Not enough."  


As if that reminded him where he is going, he goes to walk around Hakyeon, but Hakyeon grabs his upper arm to stop him. He doesn't expect Hongbin to whirl around. The anger almost palpable. There was only one other time Hakyeon saw him so angry.  


On instinct, Hakyeon flinches away, bringing his hand back close to his body for protection.  


For a second, Hongbin looks taken aback, as if he didn't remember he was standing there with Hakyeon. But then he takes a step towards Hakyeon.  


"What would you do if I hit you?"  


Hakyeon blinks and takes an unconscious step backwards. "Wh-What?"  


"You heard me." Hongbin takes another step towards Hakyeon, the alcohol overpowering.

How much _has_ he had? "What would you do if I hit you?"  


Hongbin raises his hand and Hakyeon flinches, closing his eyes.  


"Is this it? This is what you would do?"  


Hongbin's speaks in a low voice. It sounds like he is restraining himself.  


Hakyeon wraps his arms around himself, eying Hongbin. He wonders for the briefest second if Hongbin would actually hit him.  


"That's your fucking problem."  


Hakyeon wraps his arms tighter around himself, as if to protect him from the angry words. Wincing slightly, preparing for him to lash out.  


"You can't just _take_ it! Who else is gonna protect you if you can't protect yourself!? I'm not going to be there for you this time."  


Hakyeon's fingers grip his forearms, his body turning inwards, and he stares at the ground.  


"Everyone expects omegas to tolerate everything. You are not an object, hyung! You are not something I can use whenever I want. You're a fucking person."

 

Hakyeon starts to tremble slightly. He isn't sure if Hongbin even notices. But the latter just groans softly. He somehow moved to stand only a couple of inches away from Hakyeon.  


"How am I supposed to let you go when I know they are kill whatever fight you have left remaining?" Hongbin pries one of Hakyeon's hands away. Hakyeon cowers away, closing his eyes again, but Hongbin squeezes his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you, hyung. . .but I'm scared you wouldn't stop me if I made an attempt." His fingers lace together between Hakyeon's. "How am I supposed to let you go?"  


Hakyeon remains still in the silence that falls between them. When he opens his eyes again, he sees the slight glisten in Hongbin's deep brown eyes. His heart pounds in his chest. He finally realizes how close they are standing together, almost chest to chest. Hongbin's hand tightens around Hakyeon's.  


_Don't let me go. . ._ _  
  
_

Where it comes from, Hakyeon isn't sure, but he suddenly wishes to say it.  


"Please don't let them break you.."  


It is a whisper. Hongbin's voice cracks a little at the end. Hakyeon swallows thickly, tasting the thick coating left from the herbs.  


"I won't.."  


Taking the final step closer, Hakyeon wraps his arms around Hongbin's neck. Hongbin's arms ease around him to hold Hakyeon tightly against him. Burying his face into Hakyeon's neck, Hongbin is the one pressing his nose against a scent gland this time. Hakyeon stiffens, surprised. Throughout their life, it has always been the other way around unless Hongbin scented him. Never like this.  


A beta's scent calms a frightened omega. But what does an omega's scent do for a beta?  
Hakyeon doesn't know. He allows Hongbin to hold him. Alcohol consuming him, but the pine warming him.  


For once, Hakyeon truly feels safe.

  
  


[여섯]

  
  


The morning finally comes, sooner than Hakyeon expects or wants. His mother told him to pack everything of his to take with him. Hakyeon stands in his room, and realizes everything of his is meaningless. His clothes aren’t high quality enough, and Taecyeon will provide him clothes and dress him however he wants. Possessions are something Hakyeon never truly had. The only qualifying “thing” is Mandu herself, his child. If his father didn’t allow him to have her, then he truly would have nothing.

 

Mandu and the packs of his heat suppressing herbs which he does pack and hide. He will have to find a new way to come about them, if he is able. What happens when he runs out?

Maybe it will be okay. Maybe Taecyeon really won’t be awful.

 

Hakyeon isn’t convinced, but it is something that at least convinces him to take his little kitten and come out of his room.

 

He is cradling her in his arms when he sees the carriage already packed and waiting. Hugging Mandu closer to his body, he takes a step back to look at his home. Can he even think of it as his home anymore? It is the place he grew up and played with Hongbin. It was the only place he lived and provided all of his memories.

 

And now, like a plant yanked out of the ground, he is forced to move far away.

 

Hakyeon buries his face into Mandu’s fur. White fur collects on his face and sticks even more when they tears start to stream down. Mandu squirms and makes a little squeaky meow in protest, but he just tightens his hold on her.

 

“You’re going to make your face all puffy. Stop it!”

 

His mother yells from beside the carriage. Hakyeon listens, or at least tries to, but his body shakes and they come down harder.

 

“Hey. . .”

 

He blinks to clear his sight and finds Hongbin beside him. One of his arms wraps around Hakyeon, and he holds him a little. From what Hakyeon can see, Hongbin looks awful. His hair is slightly disheveled, and the white of his eyes pierced with red. He looks like he hasn’t slept all night. And maybe he hasn’t. Hakyeon doesn’t know where he went after they parted ways. If he went to drink more of the rice wine, he is not sure. An ache in his stomach appears and he wishes he kept a better eye on him. Made sure he stopped. Made sure Hongbin was really okay.

Hongbin doesn’t say anything else. He stands there, holding Hakyeon with one arm, moving it up and down to stroke his back. Head tilted slightly, he watches the squirming Mandu with Hakyeon.

 

“She seems about as happy as you,” Hongbin whispers, his voice light with the joke, although it seems almost forced. Tired and exhausted is really how he sounds.

 

Still, Hakyeon laughs a little, and laughs a little harder when Mandu meows once more, this time louder to make sure Hakyeon definitely did hear her protesting and demanding to be put down. Hakyeon attempts to wipe his face on his upper arm, but struggles, so Hongbin wipes the remaining tears on his face with his thumb.

 

“A-Are you riding with us?” Hakyeon chokes out, then clears his throat. Gaze expectant, Hakyeon wants the _yes_.

 

“No. I’m not family. But we will be right behind you.”

 

Hakyeon sighs. It isn’t what he wanted, but at least it is something.

 

He doesn’t know what he would have done if Hongbin wasn’t allowed to come. Originally, Taecyeon’s father demanded he didn’t come. Hongbin is trouble, he is unpredictable, he will do something stupid and mess everything up. A troublesome beta to alphas everywhere.

 

But Taecyeon spoke up. He insisted that no matter what they thought of Hongbin, he is important to Hakyeon and his closest friend. It would be just cruel to force Hakyeon to get married without his best friend there.

 

They argued. In the end, his father relented. He ended it with telling Taecyeon that he hopes he doesn’t regret it. And Taecyeon told him he was sure he wouldn’t.

 

“I’m glad you’re coming,” Hakyeon whispers suddenly, glancing up at Hongbin who smiles very faintly. It looks pained, but Hakyeon can’t tell if he is imagining it.

 

“You know I wouldn’t miss it,” he replies in a low voice, and brushes some of Hakyeon’s long bangs out of his eyes. They stare at each other for a second, Mandu squirming in Hakyeon’s arms.

 

For a second Hakyeon thinks how easy it would be to fall into Hongbin, to love him and kiss him.

 

But how hard it would be at the same time.

 

His eyes flicker down to Hongbin’s lips for a second, and there’s a very different ache in his stomach this time.

 

“Lee Hongbin!”

 

Hongbin smiles apologetically and breaks away so suddenly from Hakyeon. The spot where Hongbin’s hand is missing feels ice cold.

 

Hakyeon’s father walks with Hongbin under the huge oak tree growing by their home. Hakyeon watches for a second, then adverts his eyes politely. He wishes to steal glances, and wishes he is closer to hear what is being discussed. Shifting Mandu in his arms, he walks up to the carriage, up to his fate.

 

And that is when he catches some of it.

 

“. . .stay away. . .”

 

“. . .don’t be stupid. . .”

 

“. . .won’t hesitate to disown and kick. . .”

 

Hakyeon turns suddenly to watch both of them. Not caring anymore for polite.

 

“. . .near Hakyeon at anytime, especially not alone. There will be no saving you if you mess this up. . .”

 

Squishing the kitten closer to him, he fights the new tears threatening to fall. He decides he has heard enough and steps into the carriage to be delivered to the alpha.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


The ride up north is over too soon. Such little time seems to have passed, and next thing Hakyeon knows his slippers are back on the ground, and he is walking towards the villa. No protest, no attempt even to prolong the action. It is time to just give in, even he knows that.

 

An omega girl servant spots them and drops her cleaning rag, running off to get the family. To Hakyeon’s surprise, Taecyeon is the first one to appear, both of his fathers trailing behind him. He is wearing a tight gray tunic with a blue sash; something so simple Hakyeon himself is confused. Shoulder-length hair tied tightly behind his head in its little bun, and the biggest white smile stretched across his face. When he reaches them, he greets Hakyeon’s parents, but quickly turns to Hakyeon.

 

“Hakyeon,” he greets, his voice as warm as the cedar surrounding him. Hakyeon’s skin itches, ready at any moment to take off running the other way. He tells himself this is a different alpha, he is not going to hurt him, he is not in a rut, and he is also not in heat. It works to some extent; his fight-and-mostly-flight response does not believe that this is a different alpha. “Is this Mandu? Can I see her?”

 

Hakyeon’s arms tighten around her slightly. He doesn’t want to give up his baby, his only possession. Yet he nods. Taecyeon is gentle when he takes Mandu out of Hakyeon’s hands. He pulls her close to his body and holds her like a baby. The kitten who was just protesting seconds ago is now happily resting against Taecyeon. She tilts her head up and licks Taecyeon’s nose three times.

 

Taecyeon’s laughs. The sound eases the pounding of Hakyeon’s heart.

 

“Aren’t you the sweetest?” He asks Mandu, and she licks his nose once more as if to reply, _Yes, yes I am_. With another laugh, he eases the white fur ball back into Hakyeon’s arms. “I think you lied. You didn’t do any justice to how cute she is. You’re too modest.”

 

Everyone finally catches up to Hakyeon and his family. Eunbyul moves beside Hakyeon, with Chansik on her other side, then Jiyeon next to him. Hakyeon wishes to look for Hongbin, but he tells himself not to. But he craves to be next him, to hear his thoughts, to ask if he is okay and what exactly all his father said to him--

 

Taecyeon bows his head to Eunbyul, and then to Chansik, and shakes his hand, from alpha to alpha. He is quick to introduce himself to all of Hakyeon’s family and friends. And Hakyeon finds himself thankful for Chansik’s presence, the apple overruling the cedar. It makes him a little more calm. Hakyeon would probably never trust Chansik in a rut, but he trusts him now at least.

 

He calls the omega servant back to show them to their rooms. She guides them away, and the apple scent fades with Chansik.

 

But then Hakyeon picks up the extremely faint pine.

 

Hongbin almost slips by at the rear of the group he rode with. He bows his head in greeting, wordless, walking almost as far away from Hakyeon as possible. Hakyeon notices. His jaw tightens a little, his father’s words ringing in the back of his mind.

 

“Hongbin?”  
  
Hongbin looks up with widened eyes when he hears Taecyeon say his name. Hakyeon watches, his mouth suddenly dry.  
  
Taecyeon bows a little then offers a hand like he did to Chansik; acknowledging the beta as an equal although he is not an alpha.  


Hongbin is dumbfounded. He stares at the hand, confused, then slowly takes it in his own. Taecyeon doesn't seem to notice Hongbin's unease.  
  
"Ok Taecyeon. It is a pleasure to finally meet you."  
  
Hongbin pulls his hand back and doesn't introduce himself. There is no need to. Taecyeon already knows who he is.  
  
"Let me be the first to thank you for doing what you had to do to protect Hakyeon."  
  
Hongbin searches Taecyeon as Hakyeon and Hongbin both wait for the alpha to say that was a joke.  
  
"I'm sure it took a lot of courage to save your friend. Not many people have it in them. Even alphas. For it to come from a beta. . ." Taecyeon then smiles wider. "It shows me what kind of person you are. I admire and thank you." He casts a glance at Hakyeon who adverts his eyes to his white fuzzy child. "We know what would have happened to Hakyeon if he mated that day. I can only hope I can keep him as safe as you did."  
  
When he finishes speaking, Taecyeon bows again, this time even lower. Hongbin's eyes scrunch up into a squint, unsure if the alpha is mocking him.  
  
"I only did what I had to do that day," Hongbin says. He grips his bag in his hand, and turns to go, but then he turns back. Eying Taecyeon, he adds, "Thank you for letting me come. . ."  
  
Hongbin then leaves Taecyeon and Hakyeon standing there. Hugging the cat close to himself, Hakyeon wonders if Taecyeon knows if the last part was Hongbin's own sincere thank you, or if that could only be known by being close to him.

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  
  
A celebration is held that night, the day before the wedding. It is a way to wish the couple luck and success and fertility and everything else. There are mounds of food and drinks; everyone nearby is either stuffing their faces with the finest delicacies or drowning themselves in wine. There are lanterns and fire and smoke, and the place is packed with so many people. Most of them are Taecyeon's guests, but about thirty percent are Hakyeon's. Or, rather, their _parents_ guests.  


Hakyeon lingers in the background. Or at least he tries to. So many try to congratulate Hakyeon on his upcoming wedding, but most seem to flock to Taecyeon. Hakyeon is just present; it is Taecyeon they all should be celebrating.

 

He spies on Hongbin from far away. True to his word (or the word Hakyeon assumed he gave his father), Hongbin keeps his distance. Never again does he stand as close as he did when he met Taecyeon, if that is enough to be counted as close.  
  
Hakyeon watches Hongbin drink liquor from his cup. Wondering how much he has had, hoping he is not getting drunk again.  
  
How is he supposed to enjoy this "celebration" if he can't be around the one person he wishes he could spend it with?  
  
As the night continues, Hakyeon has to stop trying to watch Hongbin. It only makes him feel all the more lonely. Knotting of his stomach and the aching of his heart. The reality slipping in.  
  
He walks away, finally, and finds himself drifting to the edge of the party. Most everyone is so drunk they don't notice, or perhaps they stopped paying attention to him. He ends up standing by a tree like it is his new best friend. His fingers play with the ends of his robe: one side gold, one side red. It looks more expensive than his wedding outfit, but he isn't sure. He is no judge of it. A shimmer was applied under his eyes, as well as some kohl. Highlighting his omeganess and marking him as the other betrothed.  
  
"Hey. What's wrong?"  
  
Taecyeon walks up to Hakyeon. Somehow he managed to break away from everyone. Decked in an outfit that mirrors Hakyeon's own colors, his eyes glowing in the fires' light. Alcohol mixing with the cedar, making the fallen rain scent more present for some reason. Taecyeon isn't nearly as drunk as Hongbin was last night. Pleasantly tipsy. Enough so to make him radiate more energy than he already does.  
  
Hakyeon shrugs. "Just tired.." He lies.  
  
Taecyeon's lips twist, either in thought or to a partial frown. He grabs one of the lanterns hanging nearby.  
  
"Wanna go for a walk? Get away from here for a bit."  
  
Normally, Hakyeon would say no. He still kind of wants to, but this is the alpha he is marrying. How long can he say no before accepting his own fate?  
  
A walk away from everyone in the judgement and watchful eyes. . .Hakyeon would actually like that.  
  
And he has been on a walk with Taecyeon before. He hasn't given him reason to fear him yet.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Both of them walk into the darkened forest by the edge of the party. He doesn't know what everyone would say if they knew they were leaving together. Is it scandalous or is it expected for the couple to wish to be alone together?  
  
All is quiet except for the cracking of twigs underneath their shoes. An owl hoots once and awhile, but otherwise it is peaceful.  
  
"My parents like to host things like this," Taecyeon says after a while. "I'm used to it. You probably aren't." He laughs a little. "Although I guess somehow you will have to get used to it. Unless we always come out to hide in the forest."  
  
Hakyeon stares at the round moon and the little white dots shining above them.  
  
"Do you like it?" He hears himself asking.  
  
"The parties? Somewhat. It is easy for me. The food and drinks are pretty good too."  
  
"Don't you think they will miss you?"  
  
Taecyeon's smile widens in the faint light. "If they do, they will have to deal with it. I have to make sure my omega is happy."  
  
Hakyeon's brows furrow. Isn't it the other way around? An omega is supposed to serve his alpha.  
  
"Are you happy?"  
  
The question falls so easy from Taecyeon’s lips, coated with the ease alcohol grants. But it isn't a simple question.  
  
"Of course," Hakyeon lies as he is supposed to.  
  
Taecyeon stops suddenly. Hakyeon does to, a second later. Taecyeon stares at Hakyeon.  
  
"What could I do to make you happy?"  
  
Happy is an emotion Hakyeon is sure he won't be able to feel for a long time. If ever.  
  
"I am happy," he repeats for Taecyeon's benefit. But the alpha frowns.  
  
"Okay. What can I do to make you feel better?"  
  
Clearly he isn't listening. Hakyeon sighs, not knowing what this man expects him to say anymore.  
  
"J-Just be patient with me, I guess.."  
  
Taecyeon stands there, eyes boring into Hakyeon's soul so the other has to look away.  
  
"Will you run from me again. . .?"  
  
Hakyeon fidgets then toys with the seam on his robe.  
  
"No."  
  
There is a pause between them. Taecyeon is the one to speak up once more.  
  
"Would you like to practice the kiss for tomorrow?"  
  
Hakyeon's eyes dart to Taecyeon.

 

What?  
  
"Wh-Why would I--"  
  
Taecyeon frowns. "You're a frightened bird. . ." Hakyeon tenses a little, not sure what that means. "The slightest movement or sound makes you fly away. I know if I'm not careful with you, I will lose you." There is another pause before he goes on, "You just asked me to be patient. And I am asking you if you want to practice. I don't wish to startle or hurt you. Especially in front of everyone at our ceremony."  
  
Hakyeon remembers Taecyeon's father mentioning he needed to tame him. Is this what this ruse is?  
  
"Hakyeon. Let me help you."  
  
Hakyeon finds himself playing with his hair. It is coated in a sweet smelling oil, and it is collecting on his hands and fingers.  
  
"Please. At any point, we can stop, I promise."  
  
"Fine."  
  
It comes out sharper than he intends. His fingers quicken through the strands, his blood already echoing in his ears.  
  
Taecyeon carefully sets the lantern down. Hakyeon keeps a watch on the alpha, as he stands back up then moves closer to Hakyeon. The cedar is suffocating; Hakyeon has to remind himself to breathe, and struggles more when Taecyeon stands in front of him. His hand lowers from his hair, noticeably shaking. Does he see it? Does he?  
  
"I won't hurt you."  
  
Hakyeon swallows. Reminds himself to breathe again.  
  
Taecyeon cradles Hakyeon's face between his hands, Hakyeon's hair resting on his skin. Such an intimate gesture that does not feel romantic. It makes him feel vulnerable. His neck exposed and bared like he is prey, waiting for the wolf to tear out his throat.  
  
_Breathe. Breathe._  
  
But all he breathes in is the cedar.  
  
Hakyeon gasps.  
  
"It's okay. . ." Taecyeon whispers.  
  
Hakyeon's eyes meet Taecyeon's. Gentle and kind; his own wide in terror. He should look away. An omega should not look an alpha in the eye. He should be slapped. Corrected.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
Hakyeon fights the urge to break away. He allows himself to believe him. Breath quick and shallow, heart pounding so hard it must be visible.  
  
Then Taecyeon leans in. Slowly. Closing his eyes. Hakyeon is motionless when the lips find his own. Eyes still wide as the shock sets in.  
  
It is quick and brief. Taecyeon pulls away a second later.  
  
A first kiss.  
  
The alpha is frowning when he opens his eyes again. Hakyeon still hasn't moved.  
  
"Hakyeon."  
  
His eyes flick back to Taecyeon's.  
  
"You have to relax. . .that isn't going to be good enough for them."  
  
Through the panic, Hakyeon knows he is right. It won't satisfy anyone. Not his parents and especially not Taecyeon's.  
  
A defective omega that won’t kiss let alone anything else.  
  
Taecyeon rakes his fingers through Hakyeon's hair as he moves even closer, their bodies pressing together.  
  
"Close your eyes. If you want me to stop, tell me. But we have to make this good enough for them."  
  
Closing his eyes, Hakyeon listens. Because he is right. With an exhale, he tells himself to relax.  
  
The second Taecyeon's lips are back on his, his back stiffens. They are warm, tender even. They move against Hakyeon's gently, as if coaxing a response from him. They continue for a couple of second until Hakyeon gains enough courage to push his own lips back against his. To move them just the slightest. Enough to prove he is indeed _kissing back_.  
  
When Taecyeon pulls away, his breath ghosts hotly on Hakyeon's lips. The latter shivers.  
  
Then he straightens and gives Hakyeon another smile.  
  
"Better."  
  
Despite himself, Hakyeon finds himself smiling back.  
  
Taecyeon picks up the lantern and they continue walking as if nothing happened. As if they didn't just fix one of the obvious problems that was going to make an appearance and ruin Hakyeon in a big way.  
  
And Hakyeon actually feels thankful.  
  
Until it occurs to him he has to kiss Taecyeon in front of Hongbin. And suddenly he wishes Hongbin was never invited.  
  
How could he explain he wishes it is Hongbin he is engaged to, that it is Hongbin he gets to kiss.  
  
And how could he ever admit he has somehow fallen for his best friend?

  


❀ ❀ ❀

  


Hakyeon finds himself in the giant garden of the villa. Sitting down, twirling a flower between his fingers. Taecyeon guided Hakyeon back to the villa after their walk. He personally wished to take him there. He remembered Hakyeon mentioning he was tired, even if it was really a lie. Hakyeon is still thankful. And he is more thankful to be far away from the party.

 

How long he is alone, he doesn’t know. Hours could have passed, but he doesn’t care. In the garden is the only place that reminds of home. Somewhere he found peace as a rare omega. The days he spent there with Hongbin, the days he spent there waiting for Hongbin, waiting for the two years to pass.

 

When Hakyeon hears footsteps he quickly gets to his feet. Trudging through the garden on the other side is Hongbin, the azalea clutched in his right hand. The same one Hakyeon snuck into Hongbin and Chansik’s room and placed on his placed on Hongbin’s pillow. A message he knew Hongbin would understand.

 

“Hakyeon! We can’t do this.”

 

Hongbin tosses the azalea at Hakyeon’s feet. There is no “hyung” this time. If Hongbin didn’t have to be quiet, he would be yelling instead of the hissed whisper.

 

“Then why did you come,” Hakyeon asks quietly, staring at the innocent flower between them.

 

“To tell you _no_. To tell you don’t be so fucking stupid, hyung. You are going to ruin everything for the both of us.”

 

Hakyeon barks out a laugh. “As if everything isn’t already ruined for me?”

 

Hongbin’s eyes narrow to his squint as he studies Hakyeon. “If you really think your life is destroyed, you don’t get it, Hakyeon.”

 

“I am engaged to an alpha! I am getting married tomorrow!” Hakyeon almost yells at Hongbin. “You know what is going to happen to me after the freaking wedding! I am going to be an empty shell just like his father!”

 

His voice continues to raise. In the midst of it, Hongbin mutters a curse and then runs up to Hakyeon and covers the omega’s mouth with his hand. Hakyeon jerks himself away and shoots Hongbin a glare, but the other gives him one right back.

 

“Will you _keep your voice down_ ,” Hongbin hisses once more, his eyes flicking around to each side.

 

“There is no one here but us!”

 

“You don’t know that,” Hongbin groans then scrubs at his face with his hands. “You don’t know what it is like to lose everything, Cha Hakyeon. If something happens. . .if someone sees. . .” He groans again and tilts his head back. “I can’t do this, Hakyeon. I can’t do this.”

 

Hakyeon leans forward slightly. They are so close to each other. The anger and stress engulfing them. Although the pine already is fixing Hakyeon’s emotions, even if the omega isn’t aware of it. He is calming gradually.

 

“Do you not care if is the last time we see each other, maybe for years,” Hakyeon whispers. When Hongbin lowers his chin back down, they are closer than even Hakyeon predicted. Blush floods into his cheeks.

 

“We don’t get a _choice_ , Hakyeon. . .” Hongbin says and turns away to rub his neck.

 

Watching him, Hakyeon frowns. “I don’t want. . .to be away from you. . .” As if to protect himself, Hakyeon wraps his arms around himself, and then he continues, “I don’t want to be on my own. I don’t. . .want this. . .” He stops and swallows, his eyes locking onto Hongbin’s. “D-Do you really think this is my punishment?”

 

When Hongbin sucks in a deep breath, Hakyeon can tell his friend maybe didn’t wish to remember what he said to him before.

 

“It makes sense, doesn’t it? They sent me away, and now it is your turn. But your turn is forever.”

 

Hakyeon’s arms tighten around himself.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung. . .I should have never told you that.”

 

Hakyeon viciously shakes his head. “B-But you’re right..” Exhaling, he finds himself suddenly chilled, suddenly unsteady on his feet. “This is my punishment. This is what I deserve. This is what should have happened--”

 

“Hakyeon.”

 

It is one firm word Hongbin cuts him off with. One hand brushes Hakyeon’s silken hair behind his ear. Then it stays there, cupping his cheek. Barely holding it, gentle. He tilts Hakyeon’s face back up and forces him to meet his eyes again.

 

“You don’t deserve it. It is not a punishment you should have been given. You shouldn’t even be punished. _You_ didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“I-I should have let him. I-I should have stopped you. I ruined _everything_ for you.” Voice strained, Hakyeon’s hands shaking once more where Hongbin can’t see. Hakyeon bites down on his lip, fighting the tears he knows that are coming after admitting his deepest regret. What his mother always tells him, what he hears his father say. And what he knows deep in his heart.

 

He did this to Hongbin.

 

He is the one to blame.

 

“No.” Hongbin’s hand tightens on Hakyeon’s cheek. “I did what I needed. I made my own decision that day.” Hakyeon opens his mouth to protest, but Hongbin is faster. “And I would do it again. Fuck, I would have done it if you ‘stopped’ me. I don’t know the hell you could have, anyway. You were in no state to do anything. You couldn’t even _stand_ , hyung. I could take you. No matter what you fucking wanted, I would have stopped that alpha again and again. And I wouldn’t stop trying until he killed me. So stop it. Now.”

 

Somewhere in the midst of his words, Hongbin moved his face closer to Hakyeon’s until their noses are almost touching. Hakyeon can feel his hot breath on his skin as he tries to catch his own. His heart is back to racing.

 

Guiltily, Hakyeon looks back up at Hongbin. They flicker back down to Hongbin’s lips, then back to his eyes. Speechless.

 

“And please don’t make me say this again, hyung,” Hongbin whispers. His mouth folds down into a frown, and Hakyeon finds himself looking at his lips again.

 

What would it be like with Hongbin? Would it feel any different? Would it be softer, kissing a beta?

 

Hakyeon’s tongue darts across his bottom lip. His mouth is dry again.

 

And the only thing he knows can satisfy is Hongbin.

 

It would be so easy. Forward and back. Just to steal a little bit of him. To remember him.

 

Hongbin’s thumb strokes Hakyeon’s cheek. He is still frowning, but his eyes are watching Hakyeon. Maybe waiting for him to respond. Maybe giving him time.

 

If he knew what Hakyeon is thinking, would he think any less of him?

 

“H-Hongbin. . .” Hakyeon breathes out. Hongbin’s eyebrows raise in question.

 

Hakyeon presses his torso against Hongbin’s as the blood floods to his face. Eyes closing, and the gap between them disappears. He hears Hongbin’s sharp inhale as his lips press against his friend’s. Hungry with desire, satisfying his own craving he hardly admits he had to himself.

 

And it is different. It feels different. He _wants_ it this time. He wants more of it. No longer chilled, he is hot, and he needs Hongbin in ways he has never needed him before.

 

Hakyeon gets greedy: massaging his lips, pressing harder, fisting the front of Hongbin’s tunic.

 

Then he _finally_ feels them push back. It is like he is weightless, on the edge of whatever “happy” is--

 

A firm hand on his chest pushes him back.

 

Hakyeon stumbles a little bit, his eyes widened. Hongbin, on the other hand, is scowling. The lips Hakyeon just had against his own sunken into the deepest frown he has ever seen.

 

“We _can’t_.”

 

“But--”

 

“Hakyeon. We _can’t_ .” To further emphasize his point, Hongbin takes a step backwards. The wind chills Hakyeon; no longer blocked by Hongbin’s body. “I-I am not even supposed to be near you. Hakyeon, your father is going to _kick me out_.” A sound escapes from Hongbin, somewhere deep from within his chest. It takes Hakyeon longer than it should for him to realize that it is a sob. Hongbin covers his mouth with the back of his hand and closes his eyes. A tear escapes.

 

Hakyeon stares. Bewildered. Never has he seen Hongbin break. Not once, not even when he was given his punishment. Not since he was a child. Not after he presented as a beta.

 

The sobs are muffled behind his hand. More tears fall.

 

“H-Hongbin. . .”

 

He wants to go to him. To hug him. But when he takes a step forward, Hongbin takes one back and shakes his head.

 

“No. _No_.”

 

His eyes glisten in the firelight. He looks at Hakyeon one last time, then turns and leaves.

 

“Hongbin!”

 

The beta continues. Ignoring him, and not turning back.

 

“ _Hongbin_!”

 

Hakyeon is shrill, his voice cracking at the end. The tears collecting in his own eyes. What did he just do? What did he do to him?

 

He wraps his robe tighter around himself and starts to chase after Hongbin when he hears behind him:

 

“Let him go, _omega_.”

 

Hakyeon stops immediately. And all the blood drains from body. Down his feet, into the earth.

 

“We assumed the problem was him. Guess we were wrong.”

 

Hakyeon’s hands shake and it is impossible to stop them. A quiet groan escapes his lips.

 

No.

 

 _No_.

 

“Omega. Look at an alpha when he is talking to you. Have some fucking respect.”

 

Hakyeon is slow to turn around. His body stiff, fighting every movement he makes until he finally faces Taecyeon’s alpha father standing a ways off from him. How long has he been there? How did he not see him?

 

His nails dig into his palms. The pain keeps him grounded.

 

“P-Please don’t hurt him. . .” Hakyeon exhales. It is barely audible, all the words as shaky and uneasy as he is.

 

“I. Didn’t. Tell. You. To. Speak,” he says, enunciating every word as he walks towards Hakyeon.

 

 _Run_ , he tells himself. _Run you coward!_

 

“You really are going to be a fucking handful aren’t you?”

 

Hakyeon hates himself as he remains motionless until the alpha reaches him, trembling. It is like the father was dipped into a bath of alcohol; is he drunk? The alpha grabs a fist full of Hakyeon’s hair and yanks him forward to him. Hakyeon cries out and cowers.

 

It is why they like omegas hair down. So much easier to pull.

 

He towers over Hakyeon and leans forward, nose-to-nose.

 

“An omega so fucked up. The alpha should have mated you. The alpha should have _killed you_ after you served your purpose. You are not worthy of my son.”

 

He tugs Hakyeon’s hair once more, making him cry out again, before he releases it again. Then he pushes Hakyeon, making him stumble.

 

“Go to Taecyeon’s room.”

 

Hakyeon doesn’t move. Did he just--

 

“Do you not speak _Korean_!? Fucking walk!”

 

Not wanting to turn his back to him, Hakyeon hesitates again, but then listens. He is aware of the man behind him. Unsure what is to come.

 

The room isn’t far, yet it takes years to get there. His blood pounds in ears as he walks. Nails press back into his skin. Taecyeon’s room is large, yet he can’t stare anywhere else but the bed. Is he--

 

“Stay.”

 

It is all he says and the door slams behind Hakyeon, making him jump. And then it locks from the outside.

  


Hakyeon stands there. His body continuing to vibrate fear. This can't be it. This can't be all he has planned for him.  
  
Hakyeon starts to hyperventilate again. He closes his eyes, eases his breathing.  
  
He needs to get out of here. Especially before he comes back.  
  
His hair hangs down, and it is in the way, it is always in the way. Brushing it quickly behind his ears, fingers slipping on the oil.  
  
Somehow he manages to get himself upright and takes in all of the room around him. Or, all the details that matter. The small window to the garden. The lantern burning on the nightstand. The locked wooden door.  
  
Hakyeon runs to the door and grabs it. He pulls, and his fingers slip, unable to gain any traction thanks to the oil. Cursing, he feels his panic rising again. It has to open. It has to it has to--  
  
The other side clicks, and Hakyeon backs up. Chest rising and falling quickly as it opens to reveal the father. Taecyeon steps in behind him. His eyes try to meet Hakyeon's, but the omega is stumbling back, and he trips over himself, collapsing by the bed.  
  
The door slams behind them.  
  
Taecyeon stands in front of Hakyeon. Staring, unreadable. His father moves to stand beside his son.  
  
"What do we do with a disobedient omega?" His father asks.  
  
Taecyeon doesn't move. He doesn't blink.  
  
"Ok. Taecyeon. _What_ do we do when an omega disobeys?"  
  
Hakyeon keeps a watch on both alphas, trusting neither.  
  
Taecyeon's presses his lips into a flat line.  
  
"They are punished.."  
  
" _And_?"  
  
"Reminded of their place."  
  
"Good," his father says then takes in a deep breath. "This omega kissed the beta. The one _you_ insisted on inviting." He turns on Taecyeon, his teeth clenched. For a second, Taecyeon's eyes seem to soften as he meets Hakyeon's fearful gaze. The omega drops the contact, telling himself not to challenge him. "And look what happened. Look how _easy_ he is. A whore. Fix it. Fix him. Do it now."  
  
Hakyeon trembles, gasping for breath in the eerie silence that falls.  
  
"And if you don't, I will gladly show you how," the father hisses.  
  
Taecyeon exhales and takes a step forward. Hakyeon scrambles, grabbing at the bed to help straighten him up. Pushing back but there isn't anywhere else he can go, his slippers sliding on the floor. He is cornered.  
  
"Did you do it?"  
  
Hakyeon only makes an involuntary sound from fear.  
  
"Did you kiss the beta?"  
  
Hakyeon claws at the sheets, closes his eyes tight.  
  
" _Omega_. I am talking to you."  
  
Heart pounding the second Taecyeon's voice raises. Here it is. The _truth_. There are no kind alphas. They are all liars. Everything with him has been false. The cedar suffocates him, making the air thick and harder to force down. On instinct, he presses his thighs forcefully together.  
  
"Answer me."  
  
Taecyeon grabs a fistful of Hakyeon's hair and pulls him back to his feet. Hakyeon screams, eyelashes wet. Taecyeon forces Hakyeon's head back, making him look at him.  
  
"Did you kiss the beta?"  
  
He repeats, voice coated in anger. But the way he is looking at Hakyeon. . .

 

There is no fury. Only pain.  
  
"Y-Yes. . ." Hakyeon whimpers quietly.

 

Taecyeon’s face twists and he throws Hakyeon suddenly onto the bed. The omega collapses on it, and scrambles onto his hands, his hair falling back into his face. It blocks his view of Taecyeon who stands in front of him, hovering over him.

 

“Have you forgotten you belong to me?”

 

His voice is low again, threatening. The quiet before a storm. He shoves Hakyeon back onto the bed, making Hakyeon fall on his back. He goes to lift himself up once more, but Taecyeon pushes him again, and this time keeps his hand on Hakyeon, pressing him back into the bed. Hakyeon flinches and presses his thighs back together.

 

This is it. It is going to be the end of him.

 

Taecyeon climbs onto the bed without breaking his hold on Hakyeon. He straddles Hakyeon, forcing him down against the bed. Although Taecyeon has yet to touch him, he knows it coming, and _it is over it is over it is over_ . Hakyeon breaks; Hongbin told him to fight, and he can’t do it. He can’t. His best friend rejected him. He is screwed. What would he fight _for_? And there’s no way he could win.

 

The tears stream down his face as he cries loudly. And he finds himself begging: “P-Please--! Please don’t! Please! I-I’ll be good, I swear! Please don’t hurt, p-please don’t hurt. I-I promise. . .I promise. . .P-Please T-Taecyeon. . .” His voice cracks. “Y-You promised. . .!”

 

Hakyeon wails and continues to cry, shaking, breathing labored. Through the tears he almost misses Taecyeon visibly wince from his last couple of words. Frowning, Taecyeon stares at the omega once more and doesn’t move.

 

His father groans, “Will you shut him _up_ already? Shove your dick in his mouth and make him blubber around it.”

 

From his father’s words, Hakyeon starts to beg louder, pleading, attempting to please a monster. “Please please don’t please Taecyeon don’t please please I will do anything you want please don’t--”

 

Taecyeon’s back straightens and he shoots a glare at his father.

 

“While that is a good idea, I can’t do anything with you standing there, _father_ ,” he snaps to remind him.

 

“Please please no--”

 

His father eyes his son, but then just smiles.

 

“I expect all the details.”

 

And, with that, he exits the room once more.

 

“Taecyeon, Taecyeon, please, you promised, you promised--”

 

Taecyeon’s back slacks with a heavy exhale. Hakyeon continues to tremble, repeating all the words, in different orders, no hope it will work, but he still tries. It is the only defense he has left.

 

Suddenly, Taecyeon moves off Hakyeon. He stands, raking his fingers through his own hair, and goes to look through the modest dresser of his. Hakyeon is frozen when he hears one of the doors open, he doesn’t know what he is getting, but he convinced himself it is a horrible weapon. With the alpha off him, he could run, but how far would he get? Will he make it worse? Maybe, just maybe, if he stays there he won’t make it too painful.

 

A scream emits when something lands on him. Hakyeon closes his eyes tighter, not wishing to open them. Not realizing it is a simple black tunic.

 

“Come on. Get changed. We probably don’t have much time.”

 

Hakyeon digs his nails back into his palms. Why does he want him to change? Why doesn’t he just rip all of his clothes off?

 

“Hakyeon! Come on!”

 

When Hakyeon pushes himself up, he falls onto the bed once more. His arms shake, but he manages to get himself up eventually. He just listens. Tearing his robe off himself, his cheeks flooding when he knows he is exposed, and he knows what is coming. Why he wants him to change, he doesn’t understand, but he is at least smart enough to listen. He pulls the tunic on; it is Taecyeon’s. It is big and loose on him.

 

Taecyeon moves back to him, and Hakyeon feels himself pull away. He isn’t even that close to him yet, but he still pulled away from instinct.

 

“I-I’m sorry,” he blurts out, “I-I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I-I will only listen. I-I promise.”

 

Whether he is talking about kissing Hongbin or backing up a little, he doesn’t know. He just wants to say something that will please Taecyeon.

 

Taecyeon sighs, “Hakyeon, I am not going to _hurt_ you.”

 

It is a trick. Hakyeon isn’t dumb; well, he is a dumb omega, but he isn’t that stupid. What is Taecyeon playing at?

 

“I am going to scent you, okay? But I promise I am not going to hurt you. _I_ promise,” he says, echoing Hakyeon’s own words, placing his hands on his own chest.

 

This at least gets through to Hakyeon. For a second he stops crying and stares up at Taecyeon, searching his face. He only sees sincerity displayed. Why? What kind of sick game is this?

 

He is planning to mark him. That must be it. Before the wedding. When they hear what Hakyeon has done, they will forgive Taecyeon. They will say it is the only way to make Hakyeon cooperate.

 

And Hakyeon decides to make it easy for him; he exposes his neck to him, his scent gland. In hopes of not being hurt more. In hopes that if he actually listens to his alpha like a good omega, he won’t be almost killed.

 

For some reason, this makes Taecyeon groan in frustration. “Oh. . . _Hakyeon._ ”

 

Hakyeon holds his breath. Waiting for the yelling again. The hand, the slap. It is too late. Hakyeon can’t help himself anymore.

 

With one hand, Taecyeon steadies Hakyeon’s back of his head. Hakyeon flinches, and he hates himself for it. He hopes Taecyeon didn’t see or feel it. But he knows he did. Yet he doesn’t hear anything.

 

Mouth encloses on Hakyeon’s scent gland. Shutting his eyes tight, Hakyeon remembers how Hongbin’s lips felt against there, and then how those same lips felt against his own. His heart aches for him. He swears it is something he can feel physically. New tears flow down his cheeks. His friend he will never be allowed to see again. The friend who probably doesn’t wish to see him. A friend that is no longer a friend.

 

Taecyeon is rougher. Sucking vigorously, like he is trying to suck all of Hakyeon’s scent out of him. Orange floats through the air, filling Taecyeon’s room, landing on everything Taecyeon owns. The ginger in it is almost undetectable; but it is there, the heated sting. All of his scent surrounding Taecyeon. Strong tongue pressing into the gland.

 

It is coming.

 

The teeth.

 

The mark.

 

Hakyeon waits for it. Wondering if there will be blood. There must be.

 

Taecyeon continues his actions and he knows his skin must be glowing red. Hakyeon wonders if it will turn purple.

 

How long is he going to make him wait for the bite?

 

Then Taecyeon pulls away, and Hakyeon hears him trying to catch his breath. The entire room filled with Hakyeon. The cedar and orange mixing on Taecyeon, making Hakyeon’s stomach turn. The air from the exhale hitting the wet skin; Hakyeon shivers.

 

 _Just do it already_. . .

 

“There. . .” Taecyeon says with noticeable effort. There is a long pause until he speaks again. “That should be good..”

 

Hakyeon watches him warily. The alpha’s hand falls from the back of his head.

 

Hakyeon swallows.

 

“Come on. We have to go.”

 

Taecyeon stands up. Unmoving, Hakyeon only follows with his eyes. He doesn’t want to mate him in his room?

 

Then he seems to finally sense the omega’s confusion.

 

“You’re running.”

 

“What?” Hakyeon asks, and the second he does, he finds himself angry. He spoke out of turn _again_. Why didn’t he learn to behave better before he came here?

 

“You’re running away. And you’re dying.”

 

_What?_

 

He is going to kill him--

 

“Damn it, Hakyeon. I don’t have time to explain.”

 

Taecyeon pulls Hakyeon up by his forearm as easily as he would move a doll. As per word, he doesn’t explain, he just moves, and he expects Hakyeon to follow. The omega does. He doesn’t protest, he doesn’t fight, he just follows his alpha. Confused and terrified; he isn’t sure which feeling is stronger.

 

Cautious, Taecyeon heads out of his room. Looking right, then left, and moving carefully through the villa, sticking to the walls. Hakyeon follows. A hopeless piglet to the slaughter. When they figure their way out of the villa, Taecyeon grabs a lantern hanging from one of the walls. Without a warning, he takes off running into the forest. Hakyeon struggles to keep up with his less powerful legs. His slippers really aren’t made for running, but with Taecyeon’s hand gripped tightly on his forearm he doesn’t have much choice. Or any choice.

 

They continue to run. The sound of crunching twigs and leaves and their lungs trying to get enough air to fuel them.

 

Taecyeon doesn’t stop until they reach a river. He slows then stops a couple feet away from the bank. Hakyeon stops behind him, almost crashing into the alpha. It is surrounded by trees, almost hidden in the thick foliage. It is flowing; not slow, but not extremely fast.

 

Turning his back to the bank, Taecyeon finally releases Hakyeon. He rustles through his robe then pulls out a stack of the paper money.

 

He then holds it out to Hakyeon.

 

Dumbfounded, Hakyeon stares once more. Unmoving. Silent.

 

“ _Take it_.”

 

When Hakyeon doesn’t grab it, Taecyeon takes Hakyeon’s hand and shoves the stack into his hand. Hakyeon continues to watch, then looks up at the alpha.

 

“Wh-Why?”

 

He simply doesn’t understand. His brain can’t figure it out. As much as he tries. And he seems to think it safe to speak. Maybe it is his mind that is broken.

 

“Follow the river up north,” Taecyeon says, then points in the direction he talks about. “You will find Namgyeong.” The government’s city. The same one Hongbin was sent to for his punishment. “It is big. You will blend in. And you don’t have your scent. You should be safe.”

 

“H-Huh?”

 

“Buy heat suppressants. Find work.”

 

“I-I don’t--”

 

“Get a new life, Hakyeon. You deserve it.”

 

Hakyeon’s eyes find Taecyeon’s. He is too confused to look away.

 

He is. . . _helping him_?

 

“You won’t survive if you stay here. I don’t want to see him break you. I can’t watch that.”

 

“B-But. . .he will be angry. . .at you. . .”

 

“He won’t know.”

 

“H-How. . .”

 

Taecyeon looks at the river, watching it splash against the rocks. “I am going to tell him I mated you.” He frowns. “Mated and marked you. All of it will be proved by your scent in my room, it is why I scented you there. They will think it is just your. . .”

 

 _Oh_.

 

Taecyeon clears his throat.  “You ran away. You took this lantern.” He glances at the lantern he set down. “It was too much. You drowned yourself.”

 

Hakyeon swallows thickly.

 

“They will think you are dead. They won’t find you. The river washed you away.” Taecyeon looks back at Hakyeon. “I will tell them. They will have no reason to question me. With your history, it is believable.”

 

His fear. His breakdowns. It does make sense.

 

“Cut your hair and change your name. And live a better life than I could ever give you.”

 

Hakyeon tightens his hand around the money. It is stupid. He shouldn’t find reasons to stay. He knows what will happen to him if he does.

 

Yet he still says it.

 

“M-Mandu. . .”

 

His little kitten. His little baby. Hakyeon can’t leave without her. No one will look out for her. No one else will take care of her. His practice child; she truly is his, something he wants to protect and shelter from this cruel world.

 

“I will make sure she is safe. I promise, Hakyeon. Mandu will be safe.”

 

_And Hongbin. . ._

 

He knows he shouldn’t say it. He shouldn’t. It is shameful, caring about the beta. His best friend. . .

 

“A-And Hongbin. . .”  Hakyeon hiccups.

 

The alpha’s face falls at the mention of his name. A guarded scowl. But he then closes his eyes and nods once.

 

“And Hongbin,” Taecyeon repeats. He then sighs. “You need to go, Hakyeon. Before someone notices.”

 

“Th-Thank you, Taecyeon. . .” Hakyeon breathes. “I-I wish I had a way to repay you. . .”

 

Taecyeon shakes his head. Something glistens in his eyes in the firelight.

 

“Go live your new life. That is how you thank me. Now get out here.”

 

Lowering his face, Taecyeon wipes his eyes. Hakyeon pouts slightly as he pockets the money. His steps are cautious as he moves towards Taecyeon. Knowing the alpha won’t hurt him, yet still unreasonably afraid.

 

Arms wrap loosely around Taecyeon, ready to break away at a moment’s notice. In case the alpha changes his mind. Even if Hakyeon knows he won’t. He rests his face against Taecyeon’s hardened chest. All he can smell is orange and ginger. Only himself. He exhales; without the cedar he can relax.

 

Taecyeon was never like the alpha who tried to hurt him. Something he can only properly realize with the alpha’s own scent gone. He is different. A good man.

 

A good alpha.

 

“Thank you. . .” Hakyeon whispers.

 

Taecyeon’s arms come to rest around Hakyeon, hugging him back. Squeezing him gently, then letting him go.

 

“Please go. . .”

 

Hakyeon pouts again.

 

Under different circumstances, they could have known each other. They could have been friends. They could have even maybe have been _mates_.  If Hakyeon had better luck. If Taecyeon had been given a different family, a different scent.

 

“Thank you. . .” Hakyeon repeats. It isn’t enough, but he settles for it.

 

Then he runs past Taecyeon and towards whatever lies before him.

  
  


[일곱]

  


_One year later_

  


Even though it is technically Hakyeon’s day off, a day he is supposed to go out and celebrate and relax, he just wishes to finish his last bowl. Fingers covered in wet clay, he smooths it out, blending the pieces together seamlessly. Last piece then he can take his break. Then he can start anew tomorrow.

 

“Dongjae, you aren’t supposed to be here.”

 

Hakyeon presses his lips firmly together, ignoring his master.

 

“ _Dongjae_.”

 

Hakyeon groans and looks up. The older man is standing at his table. A scowl pressed into his face as deep as his many wrinkles.

 

“An apprentice’s job is to learn properly from their master,” Hakyeon says, reciting what he practiced over and over in his head.

 

He doesn’t go for it.

 

“There is a festival going on. You are not supposed to be studying my ways. Not today.”

 

The old man presses a couple of paper bills beside Hakyeon’s unfinished bowl.

 

“Go. Relax. Treat yourself to one of those fluffy strawberry cakes you love so much. It is on me today.”

 

Hakyeon processes this slowly in his head. “You are. . .paying me to take a break. . .?”

 

“Yes I am. Now get out of here.”

 

With a sigh, Hakyeon relents. He washes his hands on the wet cloth by his station. Taking the money, he bows his head gratefully to his master. “Would you like me to get you anything?”

 

“Yes. I want you to _get out_. Workaholic. . .”

 

Hakyeon runs off, leaving the man standing there, shaking his head and muttering about him.

 

He walks out and into the festival. The sun is currently setting, and the festivities are going to start soon. The fireworks, the lanterns, all of it. Sellers and food venders lining the bustling street. Hakyeon hums to himself, already thinking of the sweet jam on his tongue.

 

When he came to the city, it was overwhelming. Many nights he went to sleep hungry; he didn’t have money, and it took him awhile to find work. He went around, asking, pleading for them to take him on as hire. Most refused. Until he met the old man. He was skeptical, but he was looking for an apprentice. Later he told Hakyeon that his eager desperation is what convinced him. No one would have tried harder than him, and no one would be as dedicated. Hakyeon has nothing. A new name, yes, money, and freedom, but his company is the old man and the ceramics he builds. He doesn’t trust anyone, and he sees no reason to talk to anyone other than the old man. Back in his previous life, he didn’t even have many to talk to, anyway.

 

And that is what it has become to him. It has only been a year, yet it feels like a decade. He is a different person entirely. Yes, still a fearful omega, but not as fearful. Still forcing down the suppressants, still hiding in the little house he lives in with his instructor.

 

But he is safe. Free. Content. Not happy, no, but satisfied. So much more than he had been in his previous life.

 

Hakyeon finds the vender easily. She is set up in the same place as she was in last year. He wondered if she remembers him. The weird omega who bought ten of her cakes. All for himself.

 

He gets into the modest line, playing a little with the money his master gave him. It is rare for him to buy anything for Hakyeon. He really must have gotten tired watching the omega work day-after-day.

 

Rocking on his feet, he stares up at the sky. There are a couple of clouds, but it mostly clear. Two blue butterflies dart above his head, dancing after each other. They are a symbol for the festival. He doesn’t remember what the reason is for this festival. Which god it is for, what the story is, what they are celebrating. He can never keep track of all the festivals the city holds. They all serve some purpose, but the only purpose Hakyeon cares about is his sweet cream and jam cakes.

 

When it is his turn, he smiles brightly. The _ahjumma_ laughs a little, clearly recognizing him. This time he only orders three. She passes them to him and he pays, thankful for the free food. He takes his plate to stand by a nearby tree. People walk around him, paying no attention to him. And he shamelessly shoves the cake into his mouth, almost moaning. The fluffy white cream and shining red jam squeezing out the corners of his lips.

 

“ _Hakyeon_..?”

 

His spine goes rigid. A name he hasn’t heard in so long. A name he _shouldn_ ’ _t_ hear. He has blended in so well: cut his hair to the base of his neck, keeps his head down, practically invisible as he walks through the streets. He didn’t go far enough. And he knows he should run.

 

Yet he looks up, cake still in his mouth, and he finds the familiar face standing in the middle of the crowd. The same face he sees before he goes to sleep. The one he tries forget, and when he remembers, he cries until he is too weak to cry anymore. Someone who used to give him so much comfort A memory that only brings pain.

 

Standing there dumbly, Hakyeon wonders if it is a dream. It can’t be. He never has any good dreams.

 

Hongbin quickly closes the space between them and wraps his arms tightly around Hakyeon, nearly knocking them both over. The cake falls from his mouth and onto the dirt beneath his feet. Hongbin squeezes him, locking Hakyeon in, and not letting him go.

 

Refreshing pine so foreign yet so familiar, and Hakyeon’s brief panic fizzling away.

 

People cast them looks, curious, but not interested enough to care.

 

“It is you. It _is_ you.” Hongbin shaking a little, and it takes Hakyeon a second to realize he is crying. Hakyeon struggles to hug him back from being held so tight. “I thought you were _dead_ . I thought you were _gone_.”

 

“H-Hongbin. . .” Hakyeon gasps. More people are staring, and his heart starts to race. He can’t draw this much attention to himself. “N-Not here.”

 

Squirming, Hakyeon manages to get out of Hongbin’s grasp. He places the cakes onto the ground then tugs Hongbin away. Down an alley and behind someone’s home. There is less light here, and the sun is setting, about ready to take most of it away, but it will suffice. Hakyeon doesn’t know where else to go.

 

He takes in a deep breath, willing himself to relax. Hongbin’s eyebrows are raised, expectant, eyes still red from tears. He doesn’t look any different from when Hakyeon last saw him. Chiseled jawline, hair pulled back into the loose bun. He hasn’t changed, and that doesn’t seem right.

 

“Y-You look good,” Hakyeon says. It is the truth. He does look good. He always looked good.

 

“D-Don’t give me that,” Hongbin says. He turns his head, glaring at the back of the home. Then, he shakes his head, and spits out a bitter laugh. “You just rose up from the dead and you say I look good.” Hakyeon presses his fingertips together and stares at them. “At least give me an explanation. T-Tell me why I had to mourn you and spend sleepless nights missing you and--”

 

“I-I’m sorry,” Hakyeon blurts out. Before he knows what he is doing, he steps up to the beta, and places his hands on his chest. Hongbin turns back to Hakyeon, his face scrunched, tears streaming down his cheeks. “It was sudden. N-No one could know. T-Taecyeon--”

 

“ _Don’t you dare say that bastard’s name_ ,” Hongbin hisses with an intensity that chills Hakyeon. He almost steps back, but he keeps his hands pressed onto Hongbin’s solid chest.

 

Hakyeon swallows. “Y-You told me to give you an explanation. I-I’m giving one. . .”

 

“No. Don’t you dare. I don’t want to hear about him. I don’t want to _hear_ what he did to you.” Hongbin steps back from Hakyeon. He bends over a little, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

 

Hakyeon’s lips press together firmly.

 

“Hongbin. . .what do you think happened. . .”

 

Hongbin curses, then shakes his head again. More than he needs do. Then he laughs loudly, sounding slightly manic.

 

“D-Don’t you dare! I tell you not to say it, so you make _me_ say it!?” He whirls around on Hakyeon. The omega flinches as his old fear comes back. Although they shouldn’t. This is Hongbin. He would never hurt him. Still, his heart is pounding in his chest, returning natural instinct to fear any alpha or beta.

 

“Wh-Whatever you think happened. . .p-probably didn’t happen. . .”

 

Hakyeon and Hongbin both eye each other. One busy assessing why he is so afraid, the other trying to make sense of his friend’s words.

 

“Taec--” Hakyeon swallows again, and decides to avoid the name that triggered such a reaction from him the last time. “The alpha didn’t hurt me. H-He is the reason I got away.” Hongbin scoffs, and Hakyeon knows he is about to cut him off with some sarcastic remark or bitter comment, so he continues, talking faster, not allowing him to get anything in. “It was his _idea_ . He made up the story. He protected me. He made me run. He gave me money and told me to come here and start a new life where I can be safe. He never touched me. He never laid a hand on me.” The latter isn’t exactly true, but over the year Hakyeon came to understand that was a show for his father’s benefit. “He did _not_ mate me. And he did _not_ mark me.”

 

Hongbin stares, bewildered. Stealing a glance at Hakyeon’s scent gland, which Hakyeon isn’t exactly sure he can see anymore.

 

“A-And I didn’t kill myself. . .obviously. . .”

 

“So,” Hongbin says, tilting his head, and squinting his eyes to make his most Hongbin expression, one Hakyeon didn’t know he missed and needed, “it was all a ruse?”

 

“To get away. To stay safe. To be free. . .”

 

Hongbin then lets out a long exhale. “And you wouldn’t lie to me?”

 

Hakyeon shakes his head. The “ _never_ ” on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t say it.

 

“That damn alpha was innocent.”

 

Hakyeon nods, and then Hongbin laughs in a way that makes Hakyeon feel uneasy.

 

“Poor bastard.”

 

"H-Huh?" Hakyeon asks, not sure exactly what Hongbin means with that statement. His question is cut off but the sounding of the drums. The sun is finally completely down. They are going to start the celebration. Hakyeon has never been around for this. He typically is back in his cot in his room by now.  
  
"Forget it," Hongbin says, raising his voice to be heard over the drums. He then extends his hand outwards. "Come. We are going to miss everything."  
  
Hakyeon takes Hongbin's hand and he is pulled back to the festival. The fire is glowing, the music is loud, people clapping and dancing and singing. Some dressed up in costumes, some with streaming ribbons. It is something Hakyeon isn't used to, and he isn't sure how much he likes it, but he is certain he wishes to be with Hongbin. Someone he hasn't seen in a year and has successfully lived without, and now he isn't sure if he can even go a day without him again.  
  
They get wine together, drinking until there is a pleasant buzz. Hongbin buys Hakyeon more of his cakes, nice enough to realize he ruined Hakyeon's moment with them earlier, and teases when he gets his face covered in the jam and cream once more. He takes Hakyeon out amongst the crowd. They dance; neither very good, neither having much practice, but they are together and laughing. Hongbin's smile worthy of envy from the sun, his eyes scrunched up in delight. Hakyeon finds himself grinning so much that it makes his face hurt. He has never laughed so much in his life.  
  
Hongbin ends up with a blue ribbon, and he drapes it over the top of Hakyeon's head. Their eyes meet, the people seeming to slow around them. A memory of kissing the beta releases; a confined memory Hakyeon forbids himself to remember. Yet here it is, the opening of an old wound. It was the last time they saw each other.  
  
Hakyeon's smile slowly fades. He doesn't know if Hongbin notices it.  
  
But Hakyeon feels it building up inside him. The intense sadness. The questions of "where do we go now?" Hakyeon is alive and found, but what are they to each other? Has Hongbin forgotten?  
  
When the beat switches, Hakyeon pulls the ribbon off his head. He doesn't wish to lose it, so he wraps it around his wrist. He tells Hongbin he is tired. It is late. He should go back. He has to work.  
  
"Will you at least come with me? I need to show you something?"  
  
Although hesitant, Hakyeon agrees.  
  
He follows Hongbin deeper into the city. The festival is widespread, but it is more concentrated in some parts than others. And where Hongbin guides him is one of the quieter areas.  
  
"What do you do?" Hongbin asks as Hakyeon fiddles with his own fingers. He just thinks about how he has to walk all the way back when they are done.  
  
"I. . .I'm a craftsman. I mean, I'm the apprentice of one. I'm not that good, but I try. . ."  
  
Hongbin opens the door to one of the buildings. It is longer than most, and he holds it open for Hakyeon. The omega walks in to the dimly lit hallway and Hongbin closes the door behind them. The beta doesn't respond and resumes walking until he reaches one of the doors at the end of the hall. Hongbin opens it and a white puff ball runs up the second he does.  
  
Hakyeon gasps.  
  
" _M-Mandu_. . .?"  
  
He can't believe. It has to be a different cat.  
  
The ice blue eyes gaze up at Hongbin, tail swishing, and then she meows loudly. Hongbin kneels down to pick her up and cradles her in his arms. Stroking her chin, he turns back to Hakyeon.  
  
"Would you like to hold your baby?"  
  
And there. Confirmation. Like a child, Hakyeon nods and reaches for her. Mandu slides easily into Hakyeon's arms. He presses his face into her fur which is much thicker than he remembers. It sticks to his newly moistened cheeks.  
  
"Ah. . .Mandu. . .Mandu. . .I missed you.."  
  
He rocks Mandu. She is safe and okay. Just like her father.  
  
"Come in," Hongbin says, and he widens the door. "You two have a lot of catching up to do."  
  
Again, Hakyeon hesitates. He remembers the soft firm lips against his own, the hand pushing him away. . .  
  
. . .but the cat is soft and purring and he can't say no. He walks in slowly. Hongbin lights the lantern in the room, then shuts the door behind him.  
  
The room is modest, not much bigger than Hakyeon's own current home. A cot, a small table, a pile of cloth for what he assumes is for Mandu. Scrolls, ink, brushes, clothes. . .  
  
"What is this place?" Hakyeon asks as he scratches the purring cat behind her ears.  
  
"My home."  
  
"What?"  
  
Hongbin sits on his cot which squeaks in protest. Pulls his hair out of its bun. He messes it up a little to help it fall into place. "After you. . ." His eyes close and sighs. "After I was told what happened. . .I got kicked out by your family."  
  
"H-How!?" Hakyeon asks and Mandu jumps out of his arms. Hakyeon was gone, why would he be kicked out?  
  
"Attacking the alpha may have something to do with it," Hongbin says with a lazy smirk.  
  
"The--?" Hakyeon wishes to say "the father" in his hopeful wishing, imagining how satisfying it would be to see Hongbin punch him squarely in the face.  
  
"Taecyeon," Hongbin grumbles as he says the name, and Hakyeon frowns. The one who didn't deserve it. "When he told us what happened. I lost it." Hongbin laughs a little. "Not a surprise. Not after what I did to that one alpha. Hearing that he played part in you deciding to. . ."  
  
Hongbin sighs. Hakyeon moves to sit next to him on the cot, unsure what to do. Is he supposed to comfort him?  
  
"They threw me out so fast. I'm not sure they really would have wanted me with you gone." He nods towards the cat now grooming herself. "But not before he gave me the cat to take care of. Said he didn't want to see her. Didn't want to remember you."  
  
"M-My father?"  
  
He shakes his head. "No. Taecyeon."  
  
Faintest flash of asking Taecyeon to take care of Mandu. To make sure Hongbin is okay. And he put them together. To take care of each other.  
  
"I hated him. I hated him for saying it. For wanting to forget you. For--"  
  
"I asked him to make sure she would be okay," Hakyeon blurts out. "H-He must of thought you would do a good job."  
  
It falls quiet between them except the quiet licking sounds from Mandu. Unsure what to do once more, Hakyeon taps his fingers on his leg.  
  
"I hated him, but I hated myself more. . ."  
  
Hakyeon looks up at Hongbin. The beta isn't looking at him, staring at the ground. It is so quiet, yet his words echo in Hakyeon's ears.  
  
"N-No. . ." It is lame, a dumb response. But it is a stab in the heart to hear his friend say something so awful.  
  
Hongbin digs his fingers into his own leg. "Yes. I did. I blamed myself. He didn't do it to you, I did." His nails press down harder. "I was so awful to you when you needed me the most. I pushed you away. I feared for my own safety and thought nothing of you. How much I hurt you by taking away the one person you could count on."  
  
Hakyeon swears he sees Hongbin dig his nails into his leg even deeper and he can't take it. He pries Hongbin's hands away. "N-No. You didn't. You did what you could. . ."  
  
" _I_ should have been the one to convince you to run away. _I_ should have taken care of you."  
  
"Hongbin, please!"  
  
Hongbin clenches his hands into fists despite Hakyeon's hold on them. He is shaking slightly,making Hakyeon worry. Then he exhales, and he stills.  
  
"Please. Give me another chance."  
  
"You don't need another chance--"  
  
"Let me stop lying to you. To myself."  
  
Hakyeon is about to respond but Hongbin turns to him suddenly and wraps one hand around Hakyeon's neck and presses his lips to the omega's. Hakyeon gasps quietly, but his eyes close. His heart racing as Hongbin’s controls the kiss. Lips soft but determined, gentle but eager. Hakyeon presses his back, afraid he may pull away the second he does. To help ensure he doesn’t, Hakyeon wraps his arms around Hongbin and presses his chest flush against Hongbin’s.

 

The hand on Hakyeon’s neck moves up, fingers raking through Hakyeon’s hair. Messing it up slightly, then closing around it, tugging. But so careful. So like a beta, not an alpha.

 

Hakyeon gasps once more, and Hongbin takes advantage of his mouth falling open. Pulls Hakyeon’s head back. Pushes his tongue into the omega’s mouth. It brushes up against the top of Hakyeon’s mouth, and he shivers, fisting Hongbin’s tunic.

 

Then it retracts and Hongbin pulls away. Foreheads pressed together, both struggling to catch their breath.

 

“You taste as sweet as I imagined,” Hongbin whispers, lips teasing Hakyeon’s as they move, his breath heated.

 

Hakyeon flushes darkly. Rendered speechless.

 

 _Imagined_. Has he imagined this?

 

Hakyeon swallows thickly. “H-Hongbin. . .” His voice is shaky. He presses his thighs close together. Uncomfortable. His body preparing itself for what he really wants. He is ashamed, ashamed of his omega body and how obvious it is that he is craving his friend.

 

The beta does not seem to notice Hakyeon’s growing discomfort with the area between his legs. His teeth playfully nip at Hakyeon’s bottom lip; Hakyeon groans although it isn’t much. But he craves it. Craves _him_.

 

“Come here. . .”

 

Both of Hongbin’s hands lower to Hakyeon’s plump bottom, and he pulls the omega into his lap. Hakyeon has to steady himself, mostly from surprise, as his legs move to straddle the beta. His cheeks heat up more, but he doesn’t let it stop him. Tilting his head slightly, he presses his lips back against Hongbin’s. Hungrily pressing with more force, not hiding his lust, his desire. Hongbin matches Hakyeon’s enthusiasm easily. The kiss, wet, messy. So close to each other, yet not close enough.

 

Hongbin relaxes a little and allows Hakyeon to take over. Massaging the swollen lips with his own. Licking at them. Biting down on plump, tender bottom lip. It isn’t enough to satisfy Hakyeon.

 

And the groan Hongbin emits weakens Hakyeon’s legs.

 

“Oh. _Hyung_.”

 

Hakyeon pulls away a little from where he was resting on Hongbin’s thigh, guilty. Hongbin felt it. He knows now. Hakyeon leaking through the thin cloth that protects his weeping hole.

 

“I-I’m sorry. . .”

 

But Hongbin tightens his hold on Hakyeon’s rear. Digging his nails into the firm skin through his tunic. Spreading him. Hakyeon whimpers, feeling it leak and wanting to hide. Heat suppressants rid him of his heat, but not his overwhelming, obvious desire for Hongbin.

 

“Would you like me to take care of you?”

 

Hongbin’s voice drops an octave, cheek against Hakyeon’s own, breath ghosting against Hakyeon’s pinkish ear. A lewd moan answers Hongbin’s question. Just imagining what he is suggesting; it is enough to wreck him.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“H-Hongbin--”

 

“Say it for me.”

 

Hakyeon whimpers again.

 

“No. Tell me. What do you want.”

 

“I-I want you. . .”

 

“You want me what?” Hongbin presses. His nails dig into Hakyeon’s flesh again. Hakyeon gasps; he is still spread, releasing drops of his heated desire. He wants to close his legs. It is _embarrassing_.

 

“H-Help me. . .please. . .”

 

Hongbin’s lips press once more to Hakyeon’s, and the omega can feel the satisfied smirk of his friend. A quick gentle kiss, enough to distract Hakyeon as Hongbin guides his hand underneath Hakyeon’s clothing. He palms his hole through his underwear, and Hakyeon lets out a mix of a gasp and groan. He is _soaked._ He wants it. He wants him. Hakyeon presses back onto Hongbin’s hand. The beta rubs his fingers once over the hole, then he eases his fingers underneath the ruined underwear.

 

The second skin is against skin, Hakyeon loudly moans and buries his face into Hongbin’s neck. The same place he would hide when he was scared, to inhale the pine. Yet this is very different. He isn’t afraid. He is comfortably uncomfortable.

 

One finger probes Hakyeon’s entrance. Pressing in, pulling out. More slick flows out.

 

“So eager,” Hongbin teases.

 

“S-Stop,” Hakyeon whines.

 

“Oh? You want me to stop?”

 

Suddenly Hakyeon can no longer feel Hongbin in him, and the omega groans.

 

“ _Hongbin_ ,” he whines.

 

The beta laughs a litte, unaware how utterly _frustrating_ he is being. But the finger he finally inserts into Hakyeon makes up for his annoying teasing. Hakyeon lowers himself as much as he can onto Hongbin’s finger, attempting to push him deeper, and Hongbin starts to thrust shallowly. Hakyeon grunts, trying to move with him, wanting more and more.

 

Another finger presses into Hakyeon, stretching him a little. The omega moans loudly, pressing his face back into Hongbin’s neck. Moving faster, Hongbin works him better. Drunk with his own desire, Hakyeon groans once more.

 

“M-More. . .”

 

It sounds so obscene, the _squelch_ of Hongbin trying to move even faster inside Hakyeon. Yet it is also so euphoric. He is soaring, savoring each and every movement.  
  
But it just isn’t good enough. Not when he wants something bigger. Something that can go deeper.  
  
“H-Hongbin,” he gasps out against Hongbin’s neck. Hakyeon is covered in sweat, his whole body feeling as slippery as his hole. “P-Please. . .I want to feel _you_.”  
  
Hakyeon complains loudly when Hongbin removes his fingers, but it is cut off when Hongbin slams him back into the cot. Hakyeon's mouth hangs open, eyes wide, the beta on his knees, straddling Hakyeon's legs. He unties his sash, the shucks his navy robe off. Hakyeon groans loudly. The defined body before him, skin glowing in the fire light.  Dark crevices of chiseled muscle.  
  
But Hakyeon stares at Hongbin's highlighted erection; just now realizing the other man was not even wearing underwear the entire time, making Hakyeon feel weak. His tongue darts out over his lip. How painfully obvious he must be, wishing to wrap both his mouth and his entrance around Hongbin's length. A piece far more intoxicatingly beautiful than he could have ever imagined.  
  
Hongbin crawls up so his nose is almost touching Hakyeon's, bare chest laying on clothed one.  
  
"Are you sure this is what you want?"  
  
"D-Do you really have to ask?" Hakyeon whines softly, wondering if he just wants to tease him once more.  
  
"I don't want you to regret anything."  
  
"I would never regret you," Hakyeon insists with an impatient huff.  
  
"Even mating. . .?"  
  
Hakyeon almost tells Hongbin he is on heat suppressants, that if he is worried about making a baby by accident, it won't happen. But then Hakyeon realizes that isn't the problem, that isn't the concern. And even if there was a possibility of making a baby, it wouldn't change his answer. It wouldn’t be ideal, yes, but it would be a product of him and Hongbin. And in that he finds his real answer:  
  
"I wouldn't wanted to be mated by anyone but you. . ."  
  
With a lazy smirk, Hongbin slowly slides himself in, and Hakyeon's back arches as he cries out.  
  
"Wouldn't want to mate anyone else."  
  
It is intimate, their first time. And Hakyeon worried he would panic, but it is nothing like that. He feels safe.  
  
Safe. Held by the man he loves.  
  


❀ ❀ ❀  


  
Hakyeon rests against Hongbin's chest, the beta's arms wrapped loosely around him as they lay in the cot together. He is still trying to catch his breath, and trying to forget about how shamelessly vocal he was minutes ago. It is surreal for him. Finding Hongbin, confessed to and mated. If it wasn't for the mess Hakyeon knows he is still covered in, he wouldn't believe it happened.  
  
Hongbin is playing with the sleeve of Hakyeon's tunic he is still wearing. "Do you know the story for this festival?"  
  
"Some celebration of some god who gave us yummy cake?"  
  
Hongbin pinches Hakyeon's arm, making him cry out.  
  
"No." He pauses. "Do you even know why we celebrate?"  
  
"No," Hakyeon mumbles.  
  
Hongbin sighs. "The seventh day of the seventh month, the day we were blessed with bountiful harvests."  
  
"How is that--"  
  
"I'm not done," Hongbin says, cutting Hakyeon off. "It is to celebrate the god of rain and storms and his sacrifice."  
  
Hakyeon remembers seeing a fabric with the platinum haired god etched on it. He must have passed it when he went to get his cakes he only cared about.  
  
"You see, he fell in love with the daughter of a farmer. As beautiful as the moon, they said. But their crops were struggling, and they could not make a living. However the king and him came to an agreement: if he were to marry the daughter off to the prince, all the farmer would need to survive would be given to him.  
  
"The god was not pleased to hear about this deal. He did not wish for her to married off; even if he couldn't have a mortal for himself, he did not want to see her unhappy. So he did all he knew how to protect her. He argued with the earth god, the sun god. Tried to get someone to help him to help their crops. But no one assisted.

 

“The day of her wedding, he came down with a storm. Threats and violence; a scene not fit for a god. True terror happened that day, and the king was almost killed.”

 

Hakyeon frowns as he listens.

 

“They revived the king and were going to punish him for all of his destruction and childish behavior. Strip him of his godliness. Banish. Exile. And to keep him away from the mortal. And away from the gods. But before they could, he escaped. He gave up control of the storms and the rain. No longer would he be the one to control the rain, but the rain would control itself. And, to hide, he assumed another form: a sapphire butterfly. One who always would be spotted following the daughter. Spending the rest of his existence ensuring she was safe."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"What do you mean 'that's it?'" Hongbin snaps.  
  
"Is this all you study? Embarrassing love stories?"  
  
"Who said they are embarrassing!"  
  
Hakyeon laughs a little and looks up at his friend. Who he still can't believe he found, who he allowed to mate him. "Well, do you agree with it?"  
  
"I believe in giving up everything for the one you love. To protect the one you care about? To always watch over the one person who matters? Yes."  
  
Hongbin's lips press onto Hakyeon's before he can tease him again. Hakyeon gives in to him, turning a little so he can kiss him better.  
  
Even if before them is an unclear future, Hakyeon knows maybe Hongbin is right. No matter what happens to him now, he wants Hongbin there by his side.  
  
And he won't allow anything or anyone to take him away again.


End file.
